Dear Weekend...

...so glad you are here!  What a fun weekend it is cooking up to be!

Today you are bringing me a pedicure with a girlfriend, new hair color and a shopping extravaganza.  What that really equates to is Michelle time!  Woo-Hoo!

Tomorrow brings a run in the morning, nice weather for yard work, and then date night with hubby.  We've decided to go shopping for new running shoes for both of us, go out to dinner, and then home to start watching Dexter together.  Yes, we know this isn't the most exciting of dates but we've commited to no cell phones and no computers.  That's pretty huge for us!  Plus, there isn't a movie out there that appeals to us.  Snuggling on the couch does!

And Sunday...oh, dear Sunday!  Just thinking of you makes me giddy with joy.  Not only is this the day I will be celebrating thirteen wonderful years with my hubby BUT I'll also be celebrating with this guy.

Oscar.

Oh, how I love this guy.  Oh, how I love the Academy Awards.  Oh, how I love sitting on the couch, curled up under a blanket, wine glass in hand, watching an award show about movies I never saw and celebrities wearing outfits I can never afford!   

This is a tradition that dates back to college days and sitting on the couch with my sorority sisters, being caddy, rude, and laughing hysterically.  When college ended and I lived with my bf, Chelle (yes, my bf's name was the same as mine!), we would dedicate an entire day to the event.  Shopping for food and beverages occured the day before.  We'd turn the phone off and just sit and watch.  And be caddy, rude, and laugh hysterically together.

When I got married, the tradition continued but a little differently.  Kate and I would talk on the phone during the show.  Being caddy, rude, and laughing hysterically.

Somehow, I don't think my boys are going to participate with me but they have commited to giving Mommy her time with Oscar.  With my phone and FB chat open to dissect every outfit, hairdo, and accesory imaginable during the event.  Anyone willing to be caddy, rude, and laugh hysterically with me!?

Thanks, Weekend, for giving me so much to look forward to. 

Love,

Anniversary Date Night Ideas Needed!

Even though our anniversary is on Sunday, we decided we would go out on Saturday night to celebrate our thirteen years of marriage.  Eric knows how much I love to watch the Academy Awards (and rip on the attire), so he graciously and lovingly agreed to Saturday so I could watch my show.  Thanks honey!  What a guy.

But what should we do?  It feels like an eternity since we've had hours, ALONE, to ourselves.

Here are the parameters for the date:

My parents are going to watch the boy at our house.  They can put him to bed and there is more for him to do at our place, than at their place.  However, that means we have about a 5 window block between Dad's dialysis treatments.  Which is fine.  It isn't like we are 21 or 22 and must spend hours at a bar.  We know where we are going to dinner because my bro and sis-inlaw gave us a gift card to a nummy steak house. 

What should we do with the rest of our time??  We're on a tight budget so inexpensive ideas are also welcome!

True Story Tuesday

In celebration of our upcoming anniversary, this True Story Tuesday entry will be about marriage and my wonderful hubby.

I was 20 years old when Eric and I went on our first date.  The day after our date, I called my auntie and told her I found the man I would marry.  That was 18 years ago, this July.

True Story.

Eric and I broke up for 2 years.  I dated other people.  He didn't.  He says he should have.  I knew he wouldn't.

True Story.

Eric and I may be complete opposites in personalities but he balances me better than anyone else in my life. 

True Story.

The hardest time in our marriage has been since Alexander was born.  Once you've been married 10 years, you know each other pretty well and words aren't always necessary.  However, in the last 3 years, words have become a necessity as we forge this path called parenthood.  At least we're doing it together, even if we don't always have the right words.

True Story.

Eric is a stay-at-home dad and I don't tell him enough how much I appreciate all he does for us.

True Story.

Obsessive or Addictive?

After spending the evening trying to convince a toddler to organize his toys (in a futile effort to clean the playroom), I started to wonder if I had an obsessive or addictive personality.  So I did what any intelligent woman would do to find an answer.  

I googled.

Obsessive personality
A type of personality characterized by the manifestation of a rigid, pervasive pattern of perfectionism and inflexibility as the individual strives persistently for obvious unattainable and implausible goals, to the point that the actual completion of tasks and projects are frequently interfered by such behaviour.

Addictive personality

a personality marked by traits of compulsive and habitual use of a substance or practice in an attempt to cope with psychic pain engendered by conflict and anxiety.

Interesting.
Let's see...if I didn't have an addictive personality...

I wouldn't wage a constant battle with food.   I would stay a constant weight because I wouldn't be an emotional overeater. 

I would save money because I wouldn't drink booze every weekend.  Although, at the first of the year, I stopped drinking during the week. Except during vacation, of course.

I wouldn't be losing inches and looking forward to the challenge of the half marathon because I wouldn't battle food and need to run to keep the weight off. 

    On the other hand, if I didn't have an obsessive personality...

Our house would never be clean because even though he tries, Eric is not known for his housekeeping abilities.  There is nothing I love more than spending a day, deep cleaning, knowing that I'll be doing it all again within a week.

There would be piles of stuff everywhere.  I do not keep old stuff.  I love to go through closets, cabinets, and drawers and find things to throw away (which reminds me that I really need to do something this weekend about the crap that is in our bedroom).

None of us would have clean clothes.  Sometimes, I do a load of laundry, just because I can.  The routine of washing, adding fabric softener, drying, and putting it away is so satisfying!

I love Making Lists.  Period.

I'm not sure when the blogs became an obsession but I'd count them as one.  I'd probably sleep more if I didn't have the blogs because I would go to bed at a decent hour.  But I feel guilty that I'm letting down my peeps when I don't have a new entry every few days.

And none of this even covers when I get an idea in my head and obsess over it for DAYS on end.
You're asking for an example?  Well, let's see...

Whether or not to cut my hair.
Whether or not to do National Boards.
Whether or not we can afford the house addition.
I can't go to sleep with dishes in the sink and clutter on the counters.
I can't leave for vacation with a messy house (who likes to come home to a mess?)

And now that the kid's asleep, I think I'm going to sneak down and organize his toys when he least suspects it!

Need I go on?


Which one are you?  Or do we all have a little of both inside us?

Weekend Ramblings

It's hard to believe it is already Sunday afternoon.  Where did the time go?

The herd ran five miles yesterday.  I hit the 100 miles mark since I started keeping track in November (I think I hit that milestone a few weeks ago but haven't recorded all my runs).  No sideache!  But I need new shoes.   And I am specifically ignoring the burn in my calf that indicates a muscle tear.

I attended a beautiful baby shower for a cousin yesterday (first cousin, once removed is what we were told).  In all, eleven family members were able to attend.  Five from the "cousins" generation and six from mine.  Amy is the second youngest and expecting a baby girl in three weeks.  It was wonderful to see family and celebrate a sweet new life.

I bagged on a run this morning in order to spend time with my boys.  This past week was insanely busy and I felt I never saw them for more than a few hours at a time on any given night.  I simply wanted to be home.

In keeping with that decision, I also chose to miss a baby shower for my cousin's wife (different cousin, different side of the family) today.  Fidelia is due at the end of April, also with a little girl, and I look forward to the family celebrating in mid-March.  I hope she will forgive me for choosing my boys over her. I simply wanted to be home.

I spent most of today, cleaning, doing laundry, playing trains, reading books, and updating Alexander's blog. 

I'm watching the first and ONLY Olympic event I have managed to watch since the games began.  The gold medal hockey game.  Kinda boring but still hoping USA pulls it off...I've never been a huge fan of Winter Olympics. 

It's another busy week for me with something planned for each evening.  I hope it passes quickly!  Next weekend is our anniversary.  Thirteen years with my best friend.  I'll save a post about the great guy I married for another day.

Have a great week!

At A Glance

For the past eight years, I have worked with my mom.  She is the librarian.  I'm the PE teacher. Since I'm the gym rat, we don't exactly see a lot of one another since we work on opposite sides of the building from one another.  I often tell the students when they discover she is my mom, that she is the nicer one.  I'm not lying.  It is also 100% true.  She really is the nicest person I know.

My mom is retiring in June.  She is so excited about the new chapter in her life. We all are.  It's time. I have been on the receiving end of many conversations with staff members, responding to me about the news and not one person is glad to see her go.  Well, they want her to be happy but we all know the building won't be the same without her.

The other day, someone asked me what I will miss the most about her being gone.  Today, in a single instant, I knew what it would be.

Glances.

In a single glance, the woman knows EXACTLY what I am thinking.  I'd like to say it I can tell her thoughts but I suspect she is better at it...she is the mom.  I can pass her in the hallway, make eye contact, say hello, and she knows what type of day I am having.  I can walk into the staff lounge, sit down, look at her, and she immediately knows what's going on.  I can have a meeting with a parent, a student, a co-worker and visit her immediately afterward.  From the first step in the door, she knows.  The good, the bad, the ugly.

We learned very early on that we cannot sit together at staff meetings.  We end up gossiping, making fun of those we dislike, or we burst into laughter over something that amuses only us.  We've learned the boundaries of family versus work.  We've learned to be co-workers and family members. Yet, Dad and Eric still end up telling us to stop the "shop talk".  And we still won't be Facebook friends.  Maybe after retirement. 

Back to today's glance.  Assembly days are not easy for me because it puts the loss of the ASB job in my face.  I sat with my friends.  Mom sat with her friends.  And, along with 1200 kids, we experienced one of the most epic disasters of assemblies that could possibly exist.  I thought I had seen some bad stuff but today's takes the cake.

And at the end, we passed one another on the bleachers.  In one glance, she knew what was in my heart.  The pain.  The anger.  The disappointment. 

That is what I will miss the most when she retires.  Having one person at work who knows me.  In a glance.

After all, who knows you better than your mom?

Slow Internet Connection

I love that my husband is a computer techie.  I love that I don't have to call a 1-800 number to troubleshoot an issue; I just yell "ERIC" at the top of my lungs.  And then he patiently walks me through the issue. And I love that this is his passion and has been since I've known him. 

Tonight our internet connection is SLLLLOOOOWWW!  Abnormally so.  I blame this on Eric's new computer he put in upstairs.  Granted, he bought the new case because the old one was SO LOUD and he became tired of me yelling "ERIC" at 2AM when the damn thing woke me up (yes, he stays up that late gaming, every night).  But everytime he puts together a computer, something is messed up.  He says its the internet itself tonight.  I'm not convinced. While I love his new and improved much quieter computer, and look forward to sleeping without the loud racket of the former computer, I am not loving the kinks that come with the installation.  I miss a fast internet connection.  I know he'll fix it because it is affecting his gaming tonight.  But it is irrittating.

And now he's talking about upgrading the computer that is hooked up to our big screen TV.  Imagine the TV screen as the monitor for your computer.  Through this computer, we have the Blu-Ray DVD player and download movies from netflix as well as surf the net, if we choose.  I'd hate to think of the kinks that might result of him re-doing THAT computer.  But more harddrive space would be nice so I'm sure we'll be buying a new computer in the next two weeks.

So, let's do a little math.  That's one computer in our bedroom that Eric games on.  A second computer in our bedroom that has Itunes and old files on it that he needs to crash but just surfs on while he games.  A third computer in the living room that is hooked to the TV.  And my laptop.

And yet, the internet isn't moving any faster than it was 15 minutes ago.  No matter how many computers it has to run through.

Oh well.  I still love my computer techie.

 

My Bags Have Bags

I officially cannot recall the exact day I last felt rested.  Maybe it was the day of my 20th high school reunion, when Eric took the baby and gave me the afternoon to nap and get ready.  Maybe it was the day my sister took her nephew for the night (I think I was up at 7AM and went for a run which defeated any sleeping in).  Maybe it was over Christmas Break when I forced myself to take daily naps.

I truly don't know.

Regardless, having a toddler changes everything.  Shoot, having a kid changes everything but I had no idea I would never regain healthy sleep habits.  Today, a student told me that my make up was running under my eyes and I had dark smudges (gotta love when they care about you enough to tell you that you look bad).  No dear, those aren't dark smudges from make up...

those are dark smudges from THE LACK OF SLEEP I live with on a daily basis. 

Yesterday, I was looking through old pictures.   I look more rested during the nine months when I was on maternity leave than I have looked the past two years!  Sadly, I'm not even sure how I can begin to regain sleep.  Most nights, my sleep is interrupted by the cat screaming at something outside or Eric snoring beside me.  I can NEVER sleep when the baby is awake so even when I'm dying for a nap, luck would have it that Alexander doesn't want  a nap.  Even if I'm in bed by 9 (which is a good night), I can't unwind for a good hour.  Before I realize it, my alarm is going off at 5:15.

And it starts all over again.

I thought it was a lie when I heard that skin looses elasticity as you grow older.  

It's not.

I even use top shelf eye cream and the bags continue to mulitply.

Just take one look at this photo, taken during vacation when you would have slept well.  

Notice that this 38 year old isn't exactly looking like a spring chicken these days...

True Story Tuesday: Being a Leader

I'm VERY proud of my siblings.  My brother received a job offer yesterday as a show director for a big amusement park (not the one with Mickey Mouse - the OTHER one).  My sister has been working as a director of catering for a prestigious hotel in the downtown area (not a chain but BIG) for the past six months.  They are amazing adults and I love them dearly.

True Story.

Both are natural leaders and perfectly suited for these management jobs.  I giggle with joy when I think of them, sitting in their big offices, with windows and their own phone extensions, managing their teams. 

True Story.

Unless you are an administrator in the world of public education, there really aren't many opportunities to be a leader or director. While my life is more about being a mom and wife right now, there is a part of me that needs to be a leader.

True Story.

So, I'm signing up for National Boards Certification.  This is the second year that physical education has been offered and only one person in our district has the PE National Board Certification.  They say I will commit 400 hours to complete the program, which is equivalent to 10 work weeks.  This is on top of my current work load.  It can take up to two years to complete (if you don't pass the first time). The good news is that it is completely paid for by the district.

True Story.

 They say you become a better teacher after completing the program.  Truth be told, I'm ready.  Ready for something new.  Something exciting.  And something that will remind this leader why, fifteen years ago, she became a teacher and not an administrator.

True Story.

Home, Sweet, Home

this week passed quickly...

We're exhausted.  The bags under my eyes have bags of their own. I need to sleep for a week to catch up on the sleep I missed the last few days.   I have loads of laundry and a house to clean before the work week begins.  We ate WAY too much good food and drank plenty of beer.

the sun was good to us.

 Alexander spent the first four days in Arizona being spoiled by his Big Papa and Umma.  I spent four days in Arizona being spoiled by Big Papa and Umma.  

Every day should involve warm weather, cocktails, a good book, and a Big Papa and Umma to give Mommy time to rest.

we love Disneyland.

  Eric and I have vacationed at  Disneyland at least 10 times together and this time was the best.  BY FAR.  Disneyland with a child is like no other visit.  Different pace.  Different rides.  Different experience.

Our son loved the past three days at The Happiest Place on Earth and we're convinced he was the Happiest Toddler on Earth.  He loved big rides, fast rides, trains, driving cars, and roller coasters.  He is a great traveler too.

There is no doubt that our visit to Disneyworld in six weeks will be a success.

but the best part...was being together.*

*Of the 100+ photos taken on this vacation, this is one of only where all three of us are looking at the camera with our eyes open.  I hope we have better luck in Disneyworld!  Sheesh!

Vacation, Here I Come!!

Tomorrow afternoon, I'm taking my little man and getting the hecktor (trying not to swear in 2010) out of town!!  The bags are packed.  The camera and ipod's are charged. 
It's mid-winter break and I NEED A BREAK!!

For the first time, my little man will see this view from his seat.

We'll be arriving to warm temperatures, loving grandparents eager to see their sweet boy, and many views like this one. 

I'll be spending hours hanging about in the warm sunshine while the grandparents spend every minute with their grandson (only thing missing from this picture is a good book and a cocktail!)

And finally, we'll meet up with Eric and spend the weekend HERE!!!

Do you suppose it's too early to book tickets for next year?

Presenting...

...the new do!  However, before I present it, a couple of things MUST be noted:

1. I have huge bags under my eyes because I stayed up REALLY late last night reading Catching Fire which is the sequel to Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  I blame the late night on my cousin Jodie who, as a middle school English teacher, often shares "must read" books.  She fails to share that I "must NOT" stay up to 1AM reading the damn things.  But it was definitely a "must read" book.
   
2. I ran three miles before going to my haircut.  Without stopping.  In the rain.
   
3. The picture with Alexander is terrible of me but really cute of my boy so I had to share.
   
4. It's Friday.  Enough said.

I don't know if you'll like the cut or not.  But I love it and am SO happy with the decision to make the change.  My hairdresser is amazing and always knows what looks best for me.  So, I added a picture of her and I, taken on my cell phone after my hair cut tonight.  Some of you might recognize her from a certain "fat people show" (her words, not mine).  She's been cutting my hair for thirteen years and I'm happy to say we have formed a wonderful friendship.  She inspires me.

 

So....what do ya think??

Change is not easy.

Change is not easy.  It is healthy, though.

And I'm having serious cold feet over cutting my hair.  Now, many of you may be chuckling that I'm talking about my hair.  AGAIN.   We all have our "issues".  Be it weight gain/loss, shopping for that 9th pair of jeans, handbags, shoes, cooking or writing on a blog every single day.  For me, my hair is my high maintenance issue.  So, the very idea of cutting off almost 7 inches is freaking me out.  The very idea of changing the one thing I have total control over is freaky.

Change is not easy.  It is healthy, though.

Don't fret.  I'm doing it.  I may need my hairdresser to give me a hug and dry some tears when it done but she'll do it.  She's a good friend, like that.  But I woke up this morning and freaked out.  Of course, when I threw it back into a messy bun for what must be the 30th day in a row, I re-affirmed to myself that the time is here.

Change is not easy.  It is healthy, though.

Do-Sa-Do

At leadership camp, the staff brings in a square dance instructor for one evening.  It is amazing to watch these high school kids, who are total strangers to one another, wrap arms around each other, laugh and giggle, as they walk through square dance steps.  The instructor is a wonderful little old man who is sarcastic as all get out and the kids learn to appreciate his humor throughout the event.  One of the best things about leadership camp is pushing kids to step outside their comfort zone and empower them as individuals to lead others.

So, my little brain got to thinking this year and I decided to set up square dance for my PE9 students.  Today, that wonderful little old man is in my gym, walking the kids through the steps.  Lo and behold, they are laughing and giggling and have a great ol' time.  Understandably, freshman aren't as willing to step out of the comfort zone and try new things.  Asking them to step into a square dance zone, hold hands with their classmates and try something new was a stretch for many.  The complaints were loud and strong but within 10 minutes, they had forgotten I was on the sideline and are in there, having a great time.  It probably helped that the wonderful little old man kicked me out and told them HE was their teacher today.  They loved it.

It makes me think of my own life and the opportunities I have to step outside my comfort zone.  Do opportunities come my way but I pass them up because I don't think I can do it or it is out of my normal routine?  Do I instantly start to complain and worry, rather than think of the good that can come out of the event?  I think these moments are fewer as I grow up.  But this weekend, I'll be faced with one as I take Alexander on his first plane ride.  By myself.  I'm really not worried about traveling with him;  I'm more worried about all the gear.  After a minor freak out last night, however, I've decided to think about it as a great adventure.  We are going to have a wonderful week and for a few hours on Sunday, Alexander and I are going to create our own dance steps as we travel alone in this adventure.

Don't be afraid to do-sa-do every now again and step out of your comfort zone.  Find the positive in a challenge, rather than think of the negative first.  It's good for you!

And The Winner Is...

to be announced tomorrow night!  I love reading all the comments about my hair.  I'm fully obsessed and have asked multiple sources for input. 

I'll tabulate the votes (feel free to add your input) and it all comes down to what Suzy decides tomorrow night for me.  She has cut my hair for 13 years and I trust her one hundred percent.

Check back in the next 2 days to see the new me!! 
Oh, I'm so giddy about the change.  Giddy. 

Where did the Weekend Go?

It's Sunday night.  The Saints have pulled off their big Super Bowl win.  The house is empty of guests, the dishwasher is running, and we're watching cartoons on NickJr.

And I'm exhausted.  I have no idea where the weekend went or what we did.

I think...
I went out with my high school friends on Friday night and got home around 3AM. 

I think...
I drank a lot of beer, laughed at old memories, and ignored the cold symptoms that grew stronger as the night wore on.

I think...
Alexander and I spent Saturday (once Mommy pulled it together enough to get out of bed) at Lorelli's 7th birthday party.  18 first graders.  And a three year old. 

I think...
I cleaned our house, did four loads of laundry, and grocery shopped.  All before noon.  And  THEN ran four miles with a girlfriend.  In the rain.

I think...
my family came over this afternoon to celebrate Lorelli's real birthday today.  We watched the Super Bowl (oh, when the saints...).  And ate WAY too much nummy food.

I think...
my cold progressed over the weekend and a sinus infection is settling in.  I need to kill it before we leave for AZ on Sunday.  Alexander has a cold too and I'm just hoping we don't end up with ear infections if we fly in our current state.

I know...
I'm ready for bed.  And it isn't even 8PM!
G'night.

I do love making lists

The post title says it all.  I love me a good list.  Even better than making the list is the satisfaction I feel AFTER I cross items off the list.  I make lists for everything and they sit on nearly every surface in the house.  It was a major victory when Eric gave me the green light to make a list for HIM to complete and tape to the fridge.  Apparently, he doesn't feel the same satisfaction with crossing items list as nothing has been finished on his list (hope springs eternal, right?) 

Right now, I have a grocery list.  A big project to-do list (you know the one:  clean utility drawer, take back clothes, go through baby clothes, clean out closets, etc.)  I have a list at work which keeps my grades updated and my counters clean.  There is a list of weekend chores that repeats itself but is efficient. 

And then there is the vacation list.  The big-picture "what to pack" portion of the list.  The "carry on" bag" list.  The "checked bag" list.  The "what to borrow from friends" list.  The "what needs to be bought" list.  The "what needs to be done before we leave" list. The "Alexander" list.  The "Michelle" list.  I'm not allowed to make an Eric list ever since the vacation when we both thought we had packed pants for Eric only to find out neither of us had packed for him.  Eric now has to fend for himself when it comes to packing.

Once the list is complete, I will actually start packing days in advance.  I'll pack, unpack and then repack.  I'll try on clothes, discard clothes, and feel an urgent need to shop for MORE clothes.  Fortunately, I can fit into most of the pre-pregnancy clothes so 2006 fashion is alive and kicking it once more.  I'll cross things off the vacation list, add more items, and then forget all about the list on the eve of our departure because my stress levels will be through the roof.

I have learned to refrain from making a list of all the things we should do while on vacation.  I have learned to live in the moment and let myself relax on vacation.  I have learned to let the days unfold as they will and enjoy them.  And I have learned that if there is one day where we do nothing but hang out at the hotel, order room service, and sleep, that's just as good as making a list.

True Story Tuesday

Remember the post about my impromptu offer to match whatever money my students raised for Haiti Relief?  Since that day, I have received a little over $1000.00 to help me with my pledge.  Eric is relieved that I didn't have to tap our savings acct after all.

True Story.

It's official.  The herd is running a half marathon in June.

True Story.

In September, if you had told me I would become a runner, I would have laughed in your face.  Since November, I have run almost 90miles. 

True Story.

I have a meeting after work today.  I would rather stick bamboo shoots under my fingernails than attend this meeting.

True Story.

Eric says we are starting the house remodel this spring.  The man has never let me down before so I should believe him.  However, I think I'll reserve my excitement until the machines roll in and start digging in the dirt.  Until then...this girl will be cautiously optimistic. 

True Story.

Weigh In: Week 4

No loss.  No gain.  No writing in the Weight Watchers journal the past three days. 

Even if I did run 9 miles, if I don't write down what I eat, I cheat.

Lesson learned.

Ready for the Weekend!

Whew.  What a LONG week.  I started teaching an extra class and while a PE teacher doesn't have much to do in two prep periods, it is nice to have that extra break during the day.  Two late nights at sporting events to show my school spirit probably explain why I'm tired, too!  I do like the new kiddos though.  The chemistry in my classes seem to be positive, class sizes are smaller, and I don't anticipate any huge issues for the spring. 

It is week four of WW which is the "make or break it" week for me.  Cheat or not cheat is what this time frame is all about for this girl.  It is a good thing I increased the running regime to help offset the weakness that comes in week four.  This is the weekend where I MUST stay committed for the weigh in on Monday.  Good thing the house is filled with healthy foods.

Speaking of running, the herd will be at it again this weekend.  The plan is to run both days but I'm hoping to get out this afternoon and give myself a break tomorrow.  3 miles is today's goal and maybe we'll push Sunday's run up to 5 miles?  We'll see...and I have to upload more songs since the current playlist is getting old to me.   

No exciting plans for our weekend.  The weather is expected to be rainy and gross so I suspect we'll just hang out in jammies for two days.   I'd like to get caught up on laundry, house stuff, bills, etc, etc, etc.  We have three empty storage containers that are begging to be filled with misc "crap" sitting around to be taken to Goodwill so that will be on the agenda.  And I know one toddler who will want to play with trains and read books.

Oh, and I certainly can't forget the Dillon Panthers.  Love me some high school football (Friday Night Lights).  Still.

Have a great weekend!

Quality vs Quantity

Lately, I've found myself pondering the friendships I have in my life. 

I have co-workers that are friends but very few know me well.  Having worked in five buildings in fifteen years and experienced a five month maternity leave, I have learned that my job is just that. A job. People move on and if you're lucky, you maintain a handful of friendships over the years. I have acquitances at work. I have friends I love hanging out with at school events or even for drinking nights. But truth be told, I spend most of my days with my students. Most high school teachers are autonomous so seeing adults takes effort. And most days, I don't choose to make the effort. All that being said, I DO have friends at work and am not a total loser.  I just wouldn't say I have any close confidants in my building.

Then there are college friends. Most are sorority sisters who held my hair after a long night of drinking, brought me pillows in a closet as I cried over a broken heart, helped me study for exams, or sat chatting for hours in the lounge. Endless memories flood my head when I think of these friends. I was pretty selfish in college and I'm not sure what these girls would say I gave to them as a friend. Sadly, few of these friends know the authentic me because of the insecurities I felt in college. I built high walls around me and only let others see what I wanted them to see. But my heart fills with joy when I receive a text message that one or two are meeting for dinner and thinking of me. Or one drives up for my birthday party. Or another is using Alexander's baby items for her firstborn. Despite where we are in life now, we are sisters. And I love them all.

There are newer friends like those I met at leadership camp.   I've only been a part of the camp family for five years but these folks are family to me.  True service leaders.  People who live leadership, strength, confidence, and belief in others.  These are the folks I strive to be more like.  They inspire me.  I love learning from others and this group of folks teach me more in a week than I learn all year at school.  The women from camp are hosting the yearly girls weekend this weekend and I'm so sad I won't be able to attend.  But in true form, I was instantly informed that I must call for a conference call to feel "Rainier Love".

Finally, there are the constant souls.  They are in my family.  They are friends from high school days.  It would seem that most of these friendships have been in my life the longest but I have created several close friendships in the past few years.  They know the authentic me and love me despite of the flaws and insecurity.  These are priceless friendships that flow back and forth with a constant give and take that comes easily to all of us.  They are the most honest. These friendships require little work and fill my heart with love.  These friendships are my lifeline. 

But there are also friendships that aren't defined.  Like I said, most friendships are by choice.  However, some are in my life out of obligation.  And, some are in my life simply because they have been there for so long that I don't know how to live life without them.  Trying to break the tie hurts.  So, I put the friendship aside and reach out to it when I feel the guilt of having not spoken for so long.  Yes, these friendships are pretty unhealthy for me.  But I can't let go.  I'm working on it but it's a process.  A process I avoid at all costs.*  Thankfully, there are VERY few that fall into this category. 

*(If you're a friend reading this right now and you think you fall into this category, you DON'T.  Call me if you need to hear the truth behind that statement). 

I'm lucky.  I have friends from all chapters in my life.  The quality of these friendships outweigh the quantity of them.  And it took me a long time to learn that quality IS more important that quality. Maybe we lose touch for days, weeks or years but I'm a firm believer that people are in our lives for a reason. 

May your life be filled with quality friendships.

Pretty in Pink...Again

After a brief hiatus from her computer, Blooming in Bainbridge is back, with her free giveaway week.
Take a look!

True Story Tuesday

I have the bestest hubby who talked me off the ledge with my frustration with Weight Watchers.  He is logical, rational, and pushes me to be my best. I adore him.

True Story.

New classes for the semester started yesterday.  I am teaching one extra class ($$).  I have 260+ students and 12 TA's.  Does a PE teacher really need TA's?  No.  But I do love talking with them and they keep me updated on all the school biz.

True Story.

I am going to miss out on this coming weekend girlfriend get away.  I'm super sad about it but the timing isn't right this year.

True Story.

There is talk of another half marathon in my future.

True Story.

Three weeks from now, Alexander and I will be in Arizona.  I'm flying with a toddler, by myself.  Yes.  I'm nervous.

True Story.

Weigh In: Week 3

Down 4 lbs total.

 I am super frustrated that it isn't more.   Despite being proud of myself for sticking with this and increasing my exercise, I am disappointed that the scale hasn't budged more. My co-worker started losing weight at the same time as me and he is down 14 lbs.  Are you kidding me?  Granted, I could never have that large of a weight loss and KEEP it off because my metabolism doesn't work that way.  So, I have to lose in small increments.  Or is that just an excuse I'm telling myself so I don't feel badly about not losing more.

I guess I'm just disappointed that it isn't more, despite the focus and control I have had in the past 3 weeks. 

Happy Saturday!

Oh, how I love the weekends!  My sister took the baby ( I suppose I should stop calling a three year old a baby) for us last night. Eric brought home take out and we settled in to watch Seven Pounds.  In which, I promptly fell asleep!  Nice date night, eh?  A belly food of food and a few glasses of wine does it to me every time.  Fortunately, I have a very sweet and understanding husband who lovingly tucked me in so I could sleep the night away.

This morning, I woke up bright and early to join "my herd" for a 3 mile run.  In the rain.  It's a good thing I'm enjoying running because running in the rain sucks.  But I did it and I feel good.  And this lovingly, sweet wife tucked her husband in, right before she left.

Which brings me to right now.  I'm sitting on the couch, watching Friday Night Lights, Season 1.  Have you watched the show?  All about high school football in Texas.  I'm such a sucker for sports movies and this TV show falls right into the category of my guilty pleasures.  I started watching it this week while grading PE finals (yes, I give written a final in PE).  And I'm hooked.  Totally.  100% hooked.

What I should be doing is making breakfast.  I have a craving for eggs and toast.  And there are mounds of laundry that need to be done.  And toys need to be picked up.  And bathrooms need to be cleaned.  And floors vacuumed, dishes washed, bills paid, etc.  And then I have to pick up the boy (I guess I can call him something other than baby), pick up a birthday present, and then get ready for girls night out.

I'd rather watch the Dillon Panthers play football.  Ok, just ONE more episode...

All About Me!

This is a fun survey I "borrowed" from Heather.

I Am- A wife.  A mother.  A daughter.  A strong woman.
I Have- chosen to surround myself with people who make me a better person.

I Wish- I had my son at an earlier age so we could have another baby.

I Want - sunshine and warm temperatures.

I Fear- my son and/or husband dying.

I Hear- Matt Nathanson on my ipod and silence in the locker room.

I Search- for postive self esteem.

I Wonder- who Alexander will choose to be in life.
I Regret- Life is too short to live it with regrets.  So, I regret nothing.

I Love- going out to eat. 

I Always- try to help others.  Or at least offer to help and let them decide if they want to take the help or not.

I Usually- drink wine on the weekends.

I Am Not- afraid to tell you the truth.  But I have learned to wait until someone asks for it.  Most of the time.

I Sing- better than Eric.

I Rarely- follow politics.  My brain just seems to turn off when the topic comes up.

I Never- leave Alexander with anyone except family members.  And even then, I worry.

I Cry- often and at the drop of a hat.  And boy, am I a pretty crier (sarcasm).  Tears come naturally to me and I express just about every emotion with tears attached.

I Am Not Always- the best mom or wife.  But I'm trying.

I Need- Love, honesty, and trust from everyone I choose in my life.  If you can't give me those three things, I won't choose you.  I'll be nice but you'll never get close to me.

True Story Tuesday

I'm in the midst of a little battle with the district people regarding my impulsive fundraiser from last week.  It's actually quite fun to make them prove policies that aren't existing.  I think I'm winning.

True Story.

Right now, I have had $500.00 donated to me from students, staff and parents to help me with my pledge.  I have a great community.

True Story.

It's finals week.  I have a lot to do and yet, I'm on the blog and thinking about going for a run today to avoid working. 

True Story.

I'm going for a run. 

True Story.

Pretty in Pink

For the first time ever, I'm going to participate in one of these blog giveaways.  I have seen these often.  I have followed the threads but I've never actually participated on my own blog. 

But I like the color pink as much as the next girl...and it's a local gal so I'm in.

Here's the button (it only took me forever to figure out how to transfer a button)

And this is the blog!  Check it out!. 

Weigh In: Week 2

1.2 lbs this week which is a grand total of 2.6.  I wish it was more.  Oh well.

I met half of my exercise goals.  I ran 3 times this week but only made it to Curves one day.  I made a great effort with the water.  And I'm really burned out on salads which means I increased my veggies.  Salads.  So boring.

Even better, I didn't snack at the birthday party...and with half a cookie cake in the kitchen, that's saying a lot!

Onto week three...

Jo-Jo

Right now, Jo-Jo is in bed in my basement/guest room.  Every year, for the past 3 years, she has spent the night with us on the night before our son's birthday party.  She is here to keep me calm since throwing parties brings out the beast in me.  Tonight was no exception to the rule.  The night began with her and I sneaking out to an early dinner while Alexander was still napping.  Mexican food.  I love eating out and with Weight Watchers, tonight was a true treat.  We came back to the house, opened a bottle of wine, and started decorating for the birthday party.  Normally, Eric would have joined us but he drank a bit of tequila last night and wasn't feeling 100% (poor guy!).  You know he must be feeling badly if he and Jo-Jo didn't make chocolate chip cookies which is another tradition they share for Alexander's birthday.   Before too long, Alexander had grabbed Jo-Jo to play with his trains and I was on alone on streamer duty.   They played for a few hours, giving me a chance to decorate and clean house, which was wonderful for all of us.  Before bed, Alexander opened his birthday presents from Jo-Jo (of course an English teacher gives books).  After reading the new books, we put him to bed, killed a bottle of wine and cuddled up to watch a movie.  He's Not That Into You.  Pretty cute.  I give it 3 stars.  I give Bradley Cooper and Ben Affleck 5stars.  For simply breathing.

I'm sure this birthday tradition will eventually come to an end.  We often giggle that on Alexander's 16th birthday, he'll be wondering why Jo-Jo and Dad are making cookies in the kitchen and getting drunk with Mom.  Tradition, kid.  Get used to it.

Btw, Jo-Jo is my cousin, Jodie.  This is a picture of us from Christmas with our Grandma

Drop in the Bucket

At the end of the MLK assembly today, I had an opportunity to share with the school about my friend Jen's efforts to raise money for relief in Haiti for the earthquake victims.  She is mentoring a high school student as he works on his senior project - http://web.me.com/alexherbig/SimplyHaiti/Home.html.

The program launched two days before the earthquake and was initially intended to help those whose only source of food is a local garbage dump.  Obviously, the efforts are now focused on earthquake relief.

I challenged the students and staff at my school to donate.  No manipulation.  No threat.  Just make a choice and give.  Before I realized it, I heard the words, "and I'll match it" coming out of my mouth.  Clearly, God decided He was going to talk through me in front of 1200 people.  Well, who am I to argue, right?

In 10 minutes, $1403.80 was dropped in the bucket.

Amazing.

And you know what?  I'm not even worried about matching the funds.  God will take care of it.
But I did call Eric to tell him I might need a little advance on my monthly allowance.

Me and God

My husband and I aren't overly religious folks but we have our beliefs.  We don't attend church because organized religion doesn't do it for us.  We don't know if our son will find faith on his own, ask us for guidance or leave it all alone but we'll help him find his way to God when Alexander is ready, on his terms.  I do believe life is pre-destined.  When I let it be and let God lead the way, most things fall in place.  I think that pre-destined thought comes from my brief time with a Lutheran (?) church when I took communion classes with my best friend in elementary school.  Or my days in Young Life.   Anyhow.  I don't always let things fall in place and I try to control everything around me.  Guess that makes me human because when I lose faith and take control, that's when the struggles begin.  Huh.  Who knew? 

With all that being said, God and I have been having some lengthy chats this year.

On most days, we discuss Dad's health.  I ask Him to help the doctors guide my dad through the medical obstacles and ask Him to help guide me in my role as the eldest daughter.  And I selfishly ask that Dad be around until Alexander marries.  Not sure how He feels about that request but He knows my thoughts on it so we'll see if they align.  Dad is doing better each day so I do believe God is hearing me and we're on the same page.  For now.

Recently, we've been discussing my job.  I've got it in my head that I hate work.  I've got in my head that because I wasn't chosen for ASB, I am not validated as a staff member or as a teacher.  God and I have talked at length why I wasn't given that job.  I've asked for answers and have heard silence.  I know the silence is normal and that I'll be shown the answers when the timing is right.  You can't walk the path of infertility and NOT believe that answers will shown in time (one look at my sweet son and my faith is strong).  So, I've been waiting.  I waited three years for Alexander.  Three months of waiting seems easy enough, in comparison!

Last night, God and me were chatting it up and it hit me.  The answers about my job are around me.  I am an adviser of a club (in which upperclassmen mentor freshmen all year) and yesterday afternoon, we hosted a cookies and cram event to assist with finals week.  142 freshmen showed up.  I was walking through the library, with upperclassmen, freshmen and staff members working together.  It was amazing and sight to behold.  200 people working together to help one another.  I was praising Him for the opportunity to lead the club and I laughed as I realized He knew what He was doing all along.  I was the one who was resisting and not showing enough faith for Him to bring true happiness into my life.  I just had to open my eyes to what is around me.  I can be the leader He calls me to be through my actions in the classroom. I can still work with student leaders through advisor work.  I don't need to be in charge of ASB to shine as a leader.  If I was a good religious scholar, I think I would say this is a pride issue but ignorance is bliss.

As a PE teacher, I have the opportunity to lead and be a positive influence with 270 students (talk about a huge classload, eh?).  I have the opportunity to go home and be a strong wife and mom every day.  I have the opportunity to spend time with my family and friends and not be overly tired or preoccupied with work.  If I was teaching ASB, I'd have 45 students in a class, be gone many afternoons and evenings, work with negative building leaders, and see very little of friends and family.  The path HAS been laid out by God and all I had to do was walk it.  He gave me the chance to work with student leaders with ASB the past two years and I loved it.  If the ASB job was offered again, I may not take it.  I wouldn't have said that two months ago.  Or even two days ago. I'm realizing how much I enjoy being wife and mom now.  I'm realizing how much I enjoy being in the classroom, working with kids.   I suspect that's what God has wanted for me all along.  Huh.  Who knew?

Turns out someone did.  I just needed to listen.

True Story Tuesday

I took yesterday off because Alexander was sick.  I didn't really need to take the day off.  But it was a great excuse to be home and away from a negative environment that I call "work".  I have Friday off too.  I love three day work weeks!

True Story.

I unintentionally hurt a good friend's feelings when I thought I was doing something nice.  It is hard to know she hurts because of something I said.  I don't know what else I can do but say I am sorry.

True Story.

I am struggling with my son turning three.  The increase in independence with potty training, signing up for preschool, and knowing I will never have this time with him again is too much for me right now.

True Story.

My father's health is improving.  Prayers can work.

True Story.

I want another baby.  We won't have one but I want one. 

True Story.

Weigh In: Week 1

I lost 1.4 lbs this week.  Which is just about right for me as I adjust to the new lifestyle.  I worked out 4 times last week.  I followed WW closely (I did use "banked" points on Saturday).  I didn't drink enough water over the weekend. And I probably didn't eat enough veggies over the weekend too.  Oh, the blasted weekend - it is the enemy when it comes to food for me!


Goals for week 2:
Run 3 times and work out at Curves 2 times (its measurement week too!  OY!)
Drink more water over the weekend
Use super strong willpower at the birthday party on Sunday and not snack.

Movies

Once a upon a time, in the days of two incomes, we went to the movie theater and were faithful Netflix subscribers.  Fast forward three years, to the days of one income (and that of a teacher, no less); movies are  a treat and Netflix subscription is a memory.  If we do go to a movie, we use free movie passes (thanks to you-know-who) and it has to be a REALLY worthwhile movie to leave our toddler for several hours.  The last one we tried to watch was Avatar in 3D but it was sold out (so we drank beer and ate burgers instead).

Anyhow, the point is we usually don't see a movie until it has come out on DVD or on Dish network.  I think the last movie we saw in the theater was Star Trek over this summer.  At least it was in IMAX.

After two years of following a close budget, we decided we could re-subscribe to Netflix this year.  And I'm back in heaven. Within minutes, I had filled the queue and movies were on headed right to my mailbox!  And did you know they started this little thing called watch instantly?  Not only do I have movies coming to me via the mail but NOW I can find movies online whenever I want.  Granted, they aren't the most recent movies but for a girl who is lucky to see a movie in a theater once a year, it works.

On my sidebar I have started a list of movies with my rating system. Right now, I'm watching Confessions of a Shopaholic.  I wasn't a huge fan of the book but Amy Adams is precious.  And I like shopping.

Have you seen any good movies lately?  Do tell!  I would love to add to my queue!

A Good Run

I have never felt the "runner high" before.  Today, I did.  It was amazing.  It didn't last long.  But I felt it and finally understand why runners say "you'll crave it".  They are right!  A good run is a great way to start the day.

Today, the herd (we may buy t-shirts for the half marathon) ran four miles.  Kudos to our newest member who hasn't been running and kept up the entire way.  Impressive!  In order for us to run the half marathon we are going to train with interval training (run/walk for certain time).  So for today's activity, we ran 5 minutes and walk 1 1/2 minutes.  One of the herd is the time keeper to keep us honest.  It took us a little under an hour but the pace doesn't matter to us as much as the distance does.

Since I started running a little over a month ago, I've logged almost sixty miles.  I like keeping track of the distance I run each week as it keeps me honest.  And it makes me want to go again to improve the numbers (can you tell I'm a competitive kind of gal?).  I don't know that I will feel the runner high every time. I can only run 2 miles at school before I'm so sick of the track that I talk myself out of continuing alone.  And I refuse to ask anyone to join me at work because well, refer to this post...

So, now I'm going to settle in to watch a movie, eat a little lunch, and look forward to tonight and my glass of wine, which I SO EARNED!

WW

I have had a few emails/comments about WW that I want to talk about today.

1. I don't attend meetings.  I never have.  I refuse to spend the money to attend meetings.  Instead, I put the money towards my members at Curves.  I have the willpower to do this myself.  I use the "stuff" given to me by members (journal, points booklet, etc).  I'm sure WW would rather I pour my money into them but I don't have the time to attend meetings. 
2. When I followed WW in 2000, I lost 15-20 lbs and maintained that loss for six years.  It took me four months to lose that weight.  I WILL repeat this loss in 2010.
3. I HAVE to tell people I am doing this or else I let myself be sabotaged at social events.  I know from experience that if my loved ones know I am on WW, I don't have to make excuses for avoiding the sweets AND it keeps others from giving me a bad time.
4. I'm amazed at the number of people who use WW, know someone who has used WW, and all have had positive results.  The program really does work. 
5.  If you are a WW person and want to join me in a 2010 weight loss journey, let me know and we can do this together!  I'm weighing in every Monday. The weekends are the hardest days for me so weighing in Monday will keep me honest. 

I know

 I started Weight Watchers on Monday.  I. Hate. It. I knew I would and I suppose that is why I have put it off for three years, knowing I could blame it on a baby, who is about to turn three and should no longer be my scapegoat.  

I know that WW works for me.  I know that keeping track of the points is the only way that I lead a healthy lifestyle.  I know that the first week is the hardest because I have to create new behavior.  I know that the second week isn't very easy but I feel better so I am motivated to continue.  And I know at the end of the first month, the weight starts dropping and the lifestyle change is becoming my normal.  I know my friends and family support me, in this endeavor as in everything I do.  I know that after the first six weeks, I can start to include my trigger foods...like red wine.  Oh lovely, red wine.  How I miss you so. And I know that after two or three months, I have the freedom to cheat here and there and my life won't spiral out of control.
Despite knowing these things, it still sucks.  I realize how out of control my life was - it's embarassing to recall how many times I reached for Goldfish crackers, a Poptart or chips.  Right now, I have a headache.  I'm tired.  I'm crabby.  I'm so sick of salads, yogurt, and obsessing over the points.  I miss my wine.  And it's only been three days! 

Yet, I do feel better.  I'm staying within my points, am drinking the water, and my entire support system knows I'm on the WW wagon so I have their love and support.  I like having the control.  I like knowing that I have set a challenge for myself and that I have total control of my success.  I like feeling better.  And I like looking better so it is all worth it.

But I still miss my red wine.

  Lovely, lovely red wine...I know you'll always be there for me.  Right now, I'm just not ready for you.

True Story Tuesday: I Forgot

I forgot how hard the first two weeks of Weight Watcher is as I cut back the calories.

True Story.

I forgot how tired a day at work makes me.

True Story.

I forgot how much I enjoyed running, once I found my rhythm.

True Story.

I forgot how it takes very little to make me feel guilty.

True Story.

I forgot how much I hated to have my time wasted.

True Story.

I Think I Can

While I may not have been whistling at work today, walking into the building wasn't as terrible as I anticipated. After each class my boys called and left me a very sweet message with a toddler yelling, "wuv you so much Mama".  How can someone have a bad day after hearing those words?!

Being inside sure doesn't help my mood but the end of the semester and new classes are right around the corner. I'm ready for a shake up to my classes, even though I have great students.  Focusing on my diet and exercise regime will be a huge help in the next few weeks as I move through the monotony of the winter months. I wrote down everything I ate to stay within my WW points and ran 2 miles in 23 minutes.  My best time yet!  Even if it isn't breaking any world records, I was proud of myself for running in the drizzle (that running hoodie is perfect for days like today).

Six weeks to Arizona and our trip to Disneyland.
Thirteen weeks to Florida and our trip to Disneyworld.

105 school days to the last day of school.

I think I can.  I think I can.  I think I can.  I can make it. 

I Don't Wanna

If I was three, I would stomp my feet, starting screaming, and launch myself onto the floor, wrapped in the throes of an awe-inspiring tantrum.  Within minutes, it would be over because someone would redirect my attention and life would move on. 

Instead, I have spent most of my morning, whining "I don't wanna go to work tomorrow"/  And nothing is distracting me..  My two week blessed vacation has come to an end.  My sweet hubby is letting me do whatever I want today (I'm spending the day reading), my dear son is down for what I hope will be a long nap, the house is clean, and I'm ready.  The football game is on, I'm wrapped in a blanket on the couch with my belly full of a delicious salad, my blog is updated and I'm ready to read. 

But I still don't wanna go to work tomorrow.  At.  All.

And then it dawned on me...

I will be 48 when this decade ends.  48.  Almost 50.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

Naturally, I started thinking off all I accomplished in the past decade.  This things include, are not limited to, but are listed mostly in order:

• lost 15 lbs in 2000 and kept it off until 2006 (pregnancy did me in!) 
• finished my Masters in Education degree
• moved from teaching middle school to teaching high school
  
• spent my 30th birthday in Disneyland
• witnessed the birth of my niece
• traveled to Italy, France, Caribbean, Hawaii, New York and Washington D.C. along with countless trips to Disneyland and one to Disneyworld
  
• survived three years of infertility
• sold a house, bought a house, moved into new house and found out we were having a baby within a 2 month time frame.
• experienced an easy pregnancy and welcomed the birth of our son
• lost loved ones as well as welcomed new babies into our lives
  
• love my life as wife and mom as I learn how to balance it all.

All that being said, what will I be reflecting on when I'm 48 (seriously, 48?)?

• Ironically, I'm the same weight now as I was in 2000 so taking off 15 lbs will be on the list.
• I will have National Board certification (starting next fall!)
• I will have run in several half marathons
  
• I will be five years from retiring
• The house addition will be done 
• Alexander will be in middle school 
• There will be a list of places we have traveled to with Alexander
• And we will continued to be surrounded by loved ones.

Where will you be in 10 years?!

Happy 2010

Well, hello 2010!  As I flipped to an open, CLEAN calendar (oh, how I love me a new calendar) and began filling in birthdays, anniversaries and vacations, I started wondering what this year would bring us.

Potty training a three year old so he can start pre-school in the fall?  Check.

A 1500 square foot addition to our home that includes a master bedroom, WITH WALLS?  Check.

Visiting not one, but TWO amusement parks so toddler can meet this guy (and visit family)?  Check.

And those are the things that I know WILL occur!

But it wouldn't be New Years if I didn't create a resolution or two for myself, right?

1. Take control of my diet and exercise plans so I feel healthy and confident again.
2. Friday night date nights with Eric.
3. Run a half marathon 11/10.
   
4. Be engaged with my life at home, rather than counting down the hours til bedtime (anyone have advice for getting through those hours?!)
5. Be at peace with my job
   
6. Create opportunities for quality time with friends and family.
   

Happy 2010 to you and yours!