Why I Love Camp Friends

If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you know that every year, I spend a week at Leadership camp.  We drive a couple of hours up to Mt. Rainier to Cispus to spend a week teaching high school students about leadership. 

 Cispus Learning Center.

Each spring, in preparation for the upcoming summer, the staff meets to review the schedule, fix what we perceive to be broken in the curriculum, and act very business-like about camp.  We also eat too much food, stay up too late, and chat WAY too much conversations, when we should be paying attention.  It's always good.  I love these people.  They are good to the core, they care about bringing out the best in others and they make me laugh.  I am SO blessed for having them in my life.

So, back to the point of the post.  Why I love Camp Friends.

Last night, at about midnight, I was sitting on my bunk, chatting to K and C, about turning 40.  K is turning 40 next week and is feeling good about it.  C turns next summer.  Both are JUST FINE about turning 40.

On the other hand, yours truly is TERRIFIED to turn 40. 

It's just a number.  Ya don't gotta remind me that the number is not an accurate reflection of the attitude or behavior.  I'm the girl who threw out her scale for the first time in 25 years because she was sick of the number determining her mindset. 

Back to my story.  The three of us are talking and in a very camp-like moment, they start asking me WHY I'm struggling with it.  WHY I am not ok with it.  WHY I am not ready for the next step.  These people see me three times a year and they are digging deep.  They are asking the tough questions, they are peeling back layers, and they are hearing everything I say.  The thing about camp friends is that they inquire because they care, they inquire without prying, and they inquire in a way that shows nothing but love and support.  They see me three times a year and they only want the best for me.  And, because we are at camp, I let them in.  Normally, I would deflect with humor.  Not a chance of that happening at camp.

I tried to shield myself from the hard truth (ok, I just put a pillow on my lap and kept hiding my face into it with each question) but the reality is...

40 means no more babies.  The door is no longer slowly swinging shut like it has been the past few years.  SLAM.  It's shut.   Done.  We will not have another child.  Simply writing those words makes me burst into painful, mourning tears (not now, since I'm writing this post, sitting at camp in a room full of people at this very moment).  Alexander will be an only child.  I will never feel another baby move in my belly.  I will never smell that newborn baby smell on my child.  I will never feel the thrill of bringing a life into the world.  Which means it is time for me mourn and move on from what will not be but what I wished for. 

I wanted 2 boys.  Not 2 kids...2 BOYS.   My dad often tells me I have 2 boys and, with Eric and Alexander, Dad is correct..  Don't get me wrong, Alexander is everything my heart desires and more.  It's the reality of a door shutting that hurts.  Its the reality of a door shutting that I FOUGHT so hard against for SO LONG during the infertility battle that hurts the most. 

BUT.  And here's a big BUT....

the conversation with K and C was healthy and good for me.   By knowing what is holding me back and dread a milestone, I can actually move forward.  It means I can spend the next six months mourning what won't be, what can't be, what will never be.  Instead, with each work-out and step in the right direction to a healthy lifestyle, I can move toward to what will be.

Vegas in October, baby.  Be there.  Cause I'm turning 40!  And I'm going to do my damnedest to be ok with it.  Especially if K and C have anything to do with it.

Looking forward to the weekend

I'm spending it with these folks.

Planning for our week at summer camp.

I love camp.

Here's where life stands right now

Last week included the re-wiring of my parents house so each room could have an overhead light.

Last week was the last spirit week of the school year, which included an insane amount of hours  decorating walls with giant flowers and supervision of several evening events.
 

 Last week was the airing of our school on a local news station (because of our March assembly for Rachel's Challenge), which meant coordinating interviews, phone calls and loads of positive PR opportunities for our building.

 Last week was the week my dad found out he has to work out a few kinks before the medical wizards will release him back onto the kidney transplant list

 (insert request for prayers for physical and mental strength here).

 

Last week included the first sunny day of spring and we played outdoors.  All.  Day.

Last week included Easter Sunday at my grandma's house.

Last week was the eight week mark to the end of the school year.

This week includes many meetings, student suspensions,

prep for Teacher Appreciation Week (May 2-6).

and waging a battle against a spring cold.

Awesome.

A Day of Solitude

Imagine my surprise to learn that Saturday was set aside as a day for me.  Eric took Alexander for the day so I could do what I wanted AND have the house to myself.  For the first time.  In four years. 

Oh man.  What to do?  What to do?

Turns out...I didn't really know what to do.  Maybe the timing wasn't great because I was just home for a week with Spring Break.  Or maybe I'm boring.  I don't know.

I worked out.  Tanned.  Ran a few errands for work.  Scrubbed the kitchen.  Finished laundry.  Watched two movies (Love and Other Drugs and Elizabethtown).  Read.  Took a nap.  It has been a great day of nothing.

The guilt, on the other hand, is KILLING me.  I should be at my parents house.  The boys are there, with Josh, wiring the house for new lights.   Mom guilt makes me think I should be there.  Know what I mean? 

 Fortunately, Mom just called and invited me to dinner.  So, I gotta run.  Turns out, spending the day with my boys is what I really want, after all.

A Good Day

You know those days where it seems like everything went right?

Today was one of those days.

Nothing specific happened to make it a good day. 

Nothing monumental or life changing occurred that made me stand on a desk and yell "carpe diem". 

It was just...good. 

Does that ever happen to you?

Every morning.  Every single morning.

I step on a scale.  I see a number. 

I allow the number to determine my mood.  My self-esteem.  My self-worth. 

It is a number.  A number with too much power.

I cannot do it anymore.  I will not do it anymore. 

It is time to let go.

I am turning 40. 

I want to like me.  

 I want to be strong and happy with my body. 

It is time for me to accept that I have the power.

Not a number.

Goodbye, scale. 

It is my turn.

Happy Birthday, Jodie

My cousin, Jodie.

She is my cousin.

She is my best friend.

I was going to write a poem for her.

But she's an English teacher.

Too much pressure.

She has talked me off the ledge.

She has made me laugh until tears roll down my face. 

She is honesty and integrity.
She is my voice of reason.

 

And I love how much my boys love her.

Almost as much I do.

Happy, Happy Birthday, Jodie!! 

WE LOVE YOU!!

Change in plans

Today was about Eric and I.  Originally, I was planning to blog by the hour about our adventures.  I even took a picture of my wake up time. 

Yes, that's right. 9FREAKINGAM!! 

After a lazy wake-up, that included coffee in bed, we finally got around to starting our day.  If I haven't mentioned it before, Eric chose to be gluten-free about six months ago.  Since then, we've been searching for gluten-free foods.  Today, we decided to go on the search.

We found a few food items and headed home to eat lunch.

And that's when it happened...



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Eric downloaded Glee. 

We. Are. Hooked.

  We're eight episodes in and haven't been disappointed.  How can you be when you find yourself dancing around your living room to Bon Jovi, Heart and Neil Diamond?



Playdate Cancelled

As mentioned, I was supposed to go out tonight with high school friends.  But, as can often happen with adults who have busy lives, the best laid plans can and will be shot to hell.  Thankfully, we made the decision before any of us were on the road or in the bar, waiting for the others.  Mindy was the only one actually dressed and ready to go so we'll make it up to her with a long Island iced tea.  She's easy like that.

So, what is a girl to do with her Saturday night? 

Well, it's nothing exciting and I've done it before but...

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I'm obsessed, I tell you.  OBSESSED.  I used to think it was Wentworth Miller who was the hottie.  He is awfully hot, don't get me wrong.  However, after 27 episodes, it's actually Dominic Purcell who keeps my attention.  It may be that the man spends most of the show, running around with his shirt halfway unbuttoned but who am I to complain?  He may be on my "top 5" list. 

More importantly, Eric and I decided that tonight could be a-selfish-spend-time-by-yourself type of night.  He's upstairs gaming, I'm crashed on the couch, which means tomorrow is a full day of US TIME!  Alexander is sleeping over at his grandparents again (we are the luckiest parents ever).  A day with no plans right before I go back to work is exactly what we need.  I'm even willing to pass up on Zumba, if it means a day with my hubby!

Insomnia

in·som·ni·a [ in sómnee ə ]

difficulty in sleeping: inability to fall asleep or to remain asleep long enough to feel rested, especially when this is a problem that continues over time        

 
I can't say that I've ever truly suffered insomnia. 
 
When I have a big ASB event scheduled, I have restless nights.  The kids laugh when these nights occur because they know, while waiting for sleep to arrive, I have worked out every scenario so the event will be flawless, once we begin.  In their eyes, it usually is flawless.  In my eyes, I know the next time we put it on, there will be more restless nights.  Such is the life of a perfectionist.
 
When my thyroid isn't working properly, I have restless nights.  I toss and turn.  I'm in and out of bed.  And I'm a furnace.  Poor Eric doesn't stand a chance of finding sleep himself.  So, it is usually my sweet hubby who points out that I should have my blood drawn and the thyroid checked.  He's never been wrong.
 
So, last night.  I'm in bed at 9:30PM.  I work a bit on the computer til 11PM.  I figure 8 hours of sleep before Zumba and if I'm tired, the work out will wake me up.
 
Boy, was I wrong.  At 12:15AM, I text my mother-in-law to tell her "no zumba me" and reschedule for Sunday afternoon.  I lay in bed and watch the minutes tick by.  Eric comes to bed at 1AM and naturally, I turn on the light and start reading.  And reading.  And reading.  I'm no closer to sleep at 2:15AM than I was at 11PM but, Eric deserves some sleep in the dark.  BTW, I've also informed my lovely husband by this point, that there is NO WAY I'm getting up with Alexander at 7AM so he best be prepared.
 
I think I drifted off about 3ish.  And woke up at 7AM.  With a terrible headache.  Eric gets up with Alexander and I roll back over to try to sleep.
 
And no, I didn't drink any alcohol last night.
 

Here it is, 10AM and I'm still in bed.  Popped a couple of Tylenol.  I'm drinking coffee and writing a post.  With a headache.  Alexander is at a sleepover and we don't have anything planned for a lazy weekend.  Except for heading out with these folks tonight.  The crazy crew from high school days.

 

 

I think I just had a bad night's sleep.  However, if it continues, I'm gonna be pissed.  All my hard work to intentionally rest over spring break will have been for naught.  I better take a nap today, just to be safe.

 

Things I Learned While On Spring Break

Even though I loved the quote in my last post, I'm not quite sure wasting time is my thing.  Sure, it's great to lay on the couch in the middle of the afternoon and take a nap or watch a movie.  Lounging around is a much needed luxury during vacations.  And I've done a great job of lounging about every day this break.  However, I'm on day seven of spring break and I've learned a thing or two about myself this time around...

1. Waking between 7 and 7:30AM is ideal, but the occasional 8:30AM wake up is awesome, too. 
2. I eat and/or drink when I'm "bored".  This is not a new revelation but apparently, from the size of my arse, it is a habit that must be destroyed. 
3. I love working out and wish I had more time during my busy life to do so.
4. Speaking of working out, I've joined a Zumba club.  With my mother-in-law.  My first class is Saturday...you can bet that will make for a good post.
5. In order to feel peace and balance, I need "Michelle" time, just as much as I need "mom" or "wife" time.  Although, time with this little bug has been wonderful!

He melts my heart!

Today's adventures include walking at the mall with the boys and Umma, a little shopping for me, a potential trip to IKEA for additional man-cave items for Dad, and an evening at home.  Sadly, the weather still isn't cooperating so I've given up hope of doing any yardwork. 

Oh, and a brief update on Daddio.  It's a day to day thing with the guy.  Last you heard, he was home from the ER with new meds.  The new meds are helping his blood pressure so that's good stuff.  Once he rids himself of a little pesky cough, he should be up and around.  We're all hoping he can start cardiac therapy next week and find his energy.  Thanks for all the prayers and good thoughts for my daddio!

Happy Weekend!

Thanks, JL



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Happy Thursday!

 

Random post? Yes, please.

Well, the fun never ends.  Dad was back at the ER yesterday.  His heart went into atrial fibrillation.  After an hour or so of monitoring him in the ER, his heart went back into sinus rhythm but his blood pressure remained very low.  They kept him for several hours to monitor him, filled with him saline, and finally sent him home with new meds that, we hope, won't cause a terrible allergic reaction like last time.

I'm not sure what was the most frustrating part of this heart stuff.  The fact that he was back in there with new issues or the fact that there are no answers as to why his blood pressure is so low.  As a health major, it drives me nuts that I don't know the answers or can't problem solve for the answers.  DRIVES. ME. NUTS.  Clearly, the kidney dialysis creates a few complications but seriously, can't the man catch a break?  Why in the world does his blood pressure keep dropping, despite his careful monitoring of fluids?  Hopefully, the medication they gave him yesterday will help and keep him out of atrial fibrillation in the future.  If not, it's a good thing the hospital is less than 10 minutes from our house.  If you have the urge to throw a prayer up for the big guy, we'd all appreciate it.

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In unrelated news, spring break is awesome.  Last night, Jodie was here for a sleepover and so was the Captain.  Oh, the Captain.  I've been tanning and working out and I LOVE the time for myself.  I've worn nothing but sweats, yoga pants, or sweatshirts.  I'm not napping as much as I should be but am addicted to watching Prison Break so the trade-off is worth it.  The weather totally sucks but I remain optimistic that the skies will clear long enough for us to take junk to the dump and do yard work this weekend.  I'm not sure what I will end up crossing off my list but I kinda don't care.  I have decided I don't really care if I'm productive or not.

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So, that's the latest.  Tomorrow, Alexander has his swim lesson and first trip to the dentist.  He also plans to spend the evening with his grandparents so Eric and I are hoping to go out to movie and/or dinner.  Thursday, we're taking Alexander to the train yard.  And before you know it, the weekend will be here.  Crazy.  And so fun.  So, so fun.

Monday Morning

Not sure what has been the best part of today...

1.  Sleeping in until 7:45, when this cute little face woke me up with toddler kisses.

2.  Working out at Curves, after being measured and finding out I've lost 5 inches!  Yay me.

3.  Observing Alexander's swim lessons and seeing first hand what a little fish he is

4.  Watching more Prison Break, cleaning the house, and waiting for Jodie to visit us tonight.

Maybe it's all of the above!

Spring Break is here!

It's only been six weeks since mid-winter break but what a long stretch!  March is already difficult, with five full weeks but rainy, dreary days certainly didn't help my attitude.

I need this time at home.  I need to be with my boys.  I need to think about anything BUT work.

I have a list of activities I want to complete before the week is out.  Things like clearing out closets of old clothes, yard work, dump runs, and deep cleaning the bathrooms.  Instead of doing any of those things, I've been to Curves, went to a birthday party drank too much wine, watched Prison Break, re-decorated my dad's new man cave, finished the laundry, and started tanning again. 

Oh, how I have missed tanning.  Remember this? 

It's been almost a year since my face was sliced open from a flying rock and the doctor told me to avoid the sun.  For what it's worth, I did a damn good job, protecting the scar with sunscreen last summer and I avoided tanning booths. 

I think it's healed rather nicely, don't you?

However, I can't handle the pasty white skin that makes me feel like a beluga whale.  So, enough is enough and my butt was back in a tanning booth today.  Ahhhhh... 

If all goes well, the week will not only be a productive one, but a fun-filled one. 

Happy Spring Break!!

Fill In The ________

I found myself blog-surfing today and came across this fun little actiivty so sit back and enjoy!

:: no matter what mood i'm in: seeing my husband and son at the end of the day makes me feel better.

:: my favorite go-to outfit would have to be:  dark jeans, boots, long t-shirt/tank, cardigan

  

:: a good source of inspiration is: my girlfriends.

:: am so glad my parents taught me: that MY voice CAN make a difference

:: a song i like to dance to is: Dynamite by Taio Cruz.  It makes for a great dance party with a four year old.

:: the best thing in my makeup bag is: the Almay foundation

:: my dream spring break vacation spot is: in a cabin at the ocean

:: this may be a surprise (or not), but i am passionate about: a clean house and folded laundry

:: a favorite book that changed me for the better: Columbine by Dave Kullen

:: one of my pet peeves is: when the windshield wipers are on...and it isn't raining.  

:: my favorite daily ritual would have to be: Alexander joining me in the morning while I put myself together for work.  Or it might be when I return from work and Alexander runs into my arms.

:: i am trying to be better at: balancing work and home

:: the most recent rad thing i found online was: I'm sure it was clothes.  It always is.

:: i can't live without: My husband and my child

How did I miss this show??

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Oh, that's right...I work full time.  I'm a wife.  I have a toddler.  From 6AM to 8PM, I am busy with life.  I do not have free time to watch TV.  And I do not have a DVR.  Not that I'm slamming on those who do have time to watch TV or have a DVR, because that isn't my intent, at all.  I simply wish I had time to sit and watch TV.

I'm typically behind on "hot" TV shows.  There was a time when I watched at least a half dozen shows (Grey's Anatomy, Desparate Housewives, Friends, ER, 24, etc) without missing an episode.   However, the years have passed by and I have no idea what shows are on TV.  In this house, if it isn't on Nick JR or the Disney Channel, we don't watch it. 

Today, I have the couch and the TV to myself.  And I have found a HOT guy show to watch, thanks to Netflix.

Time to settle in, kids.  I got some catching up to do!

 

Staycation

Eric and I are having a mini-vacation this weekend.  Right at home.  Our little man is away at his grandparents, missing us already having the time of his life for three days.  THREE WHOLE DAYS!  I am not even sure what to do with myself.

It's been a LONG time since we have had a staycation.  We've had our overnights before but usually I have plans with friends or we go out.  This weekend.,.it is all about staying home.

We're just hanging out.  Laundry is going.  Kitchen is clean.  House has been vaccuumed. 

Should we take advantage and go out tonight?  Probably.  Will we?  Nope, we're staying in. 

Sweats are on.  Junk food is on the counter.  Beer is cooling in the fridge.  Movies are in the Netflix queue. 

Staycation.  I think I love you.

Approaching Burn-out

It's March.  For all teachers, March is a VERY long month in the school year.  And dreary days in the NW don't help.   

I'm feeling burn-out.  I'm feeling short-tempered, impatient, and the urge to crawl into bed and not surface for days. 

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I love my job.  I really do.  But the twelve hour days are catching up with me.  Even my own Prince Charming commented on how dark the bags are under my eyes. 

I'm worried if I don't figure out how to balance my job with the real world, I am going to burn-out. 

Have you ever burned out of a job?  What do you wish you had done differently?  

If I don't figure something out, I don't have a chance of surviving the rest of the year, let alone another fifteen years in this job!



Happy 43rd Anniversary, Dan and Irene

43 years ago, my parents were married in a little church in Pullman.  They were young.  REALLY young.

In honor of their 43 years of marriage, I thought I would list 43 accomplishments from their life together, as a married couple.  I'm certain I will screw up the order but I gotta try...

1. Met at Central
2. Dated for I-don't-know-how-long
3. Met Lifelong friends - Pete and Dotty
4. Dad joined the Army
5. Married March 23
6. Mom graduated from Central (and retired her pom-poms)
7. Mom started teaching.
8. They lived in Germany for a year.
9. They lived in Pullman for several years.
10. Baby #1 was born (me)
11. Dad worked two jobs and went to school, with a newborn.
12. Mom and I swam in the pool in Pullman.  A lot.
13. Dad graduted from WSU (with a 4.0).
14. Dad was hired at Boeing.
15. So, they moved to Kirkland.
16. Where baby #2 was born (Kim).
17. Mom stayed home to change diapers and raise babies.
18. They spent every weekend and holiday with Dad's family, with visits to Mom's family in Pullman.
19. Then, baby #3 was born (Patrick)
20. So, they bought their first (and only) home.
21. Mom and Dad spent the next 18 years in a blur, raising kids (including kids who weren't theirs!)
22. They (mostly Mom) attended soccer/softball games, drama plays, and spent hours driving all of us to and from school events.
23. Dad traveled for Boeing.
24. Dad coordinated 5Star softball so Kim and I would have the best experience (not always the best teams, though!)
25. While raising us, Mom was self-employed, making hand crafts that she sold at craft fairs and was very active in the PTSA.
26. They provided the gift of college tuition to Michelle
27. They provided the gift of college tuition to Kim
28. They provided the gift of college tuition to Patrick
29. They proudly boast that all three of their kids are WSU GRADUATES
30. They paid for wedding of Michelle and Eric
31. They paid for wedding of Kim and RJ
32. They paid for Patrick's gas for years...hahaha...and was involved with his wedding, too.
33. 26-31 goes to show how they put their kids first in their lives and never complained about not having any money.
34. Mom went back to work in the high school where two of her kids were high school students
35. She says she went back to work for money...I say it was because the two remaining kids at home were troublemakers...not for money to help with troubles that the first kid in college was creating.  Sadly, no one supports my theory!
36. Mom went about her daily life with health issues but never let them stop her from being her best.
37. Dad stopped traveling as much but hits the 20, 25, 30, 35 year milestones at Boeing
38. As soon-to-be grandparents, they stayed in a very uncomfortable hospital lobby for 2 days as they waited for the birth of their first grandchild.
39. Dad held said grandchild before Mom did...in fact, even before L's mama did.
40. Dad also held his second grandchild first...but not before THIS mama did.  Maybe if they had been in the lobby for his birth, Dad might have gotten first dibs.  Sorry I didn't let you come until he was born, folks.
41. Dad's kidneys decided they were done working...but Dad wasn't ready to give up so dialysis treatments began.  They work together to make the adjustment to their lives
42. After 20 years of working with high school kids, Mom retired last June.
43. After 42 years at Boeing, Dad retired in January.

And they plan to live happily ever after! 
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! 

WE LOVE YOU!!



Happy Sunday

Nothing very exciting for today's blog post. 

After yesterday's early wake-up call, I was in bed by 9PM last night.  Once upon a time, I could drink three beers and continuet to party into the wee hours of the morning.  Now, I just yawn and crawl into bed.

This morning, Alexander graciously slept until 7AM!  That's 10 hours of sleep for Mama!  Wheee! 

Gypsy and I walked 4 miles again this morning.  Yes, we should run to burn extra calories but walking allows us to chat.  We both need the girl time more than we need to burn extra calories (kinda).

The house is clean.  Laundry is done.  And I'm showered.  All before noon.

In about an hour, I'm heading into work.  That would be 7 days in a row.  Kids want to paint the walls, which is fine by me.  I'll sit in my office and work since I'm out of the building 3 of 5 days next week with meetings.

Like I said, nothing very exciting.  Just life.  A busy, busy life!

Sometimes, I just want a beer

4:40AM:  Alexander wakes up and comes into our room.
4:40-5:15AM:  Alexander is in our bed, jabbering nonsense
5:15AM:  I finally send Alexander back to bed and then proceed to yell at the cat for the next 20 minutes, who is also jabbering nonsense.
5:15-8AM:  Everyone falls back asleep...except Mom due to excessive snoring by Eric and cat
8:20AM:  Crawl out of bed, throw on work out clothes, turn on Ice Road Trucker TV show for toddler (who is still jabbering nonsense but loves those crazy truckers) and brew a cup of coffee.  The cup of coffee that I eto drink before leaving for my work out.
8:50-9:25AM:  Workout at Curves with uber-obnoxious lady who won't stop jabbering...about nonsense.
9:30-10:40AM:  Walk 4ish miles with Gypsy.  We had intended to run but we see so little of each other these days that walking and talking was much more appealing.  I don't mind our jabbering.
10:45-11AM:  Stand in line at Starbucks, behind another obnoxious jabbering woman.
11AM - 12:30PM:  Trip to Target with Alexander.  Jabber. Jabber.  Jabber.
12:30 - 2:30PM:  Rest on couch with Alexander, who is refusing his nap but agrees to rest time on the couch, watching Polar Express and jabbering.
2:30-3:30PM:  Finally shower (SILENCE!)
3:30-5:30PM:  Take Alexander to the high school so I can work sound system in gym for the drill team, who is performing for their parents/grandparents.  Alexander puts on an impromptu half-time show, dancing and singing for the crowd.  My kid is cute.

It's now almost 6PM, we're on the couch watching Despicable Me, while Eric makes dinner.
I have been awake for about 14 hours, going non-stop, and I AM TIRED.

Beer never tasted so good.

Four lbs is better than a kick in the eye

You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be. 

David Viscott

 
After my fantastic, crazy eating binge in Disneyland (OY!), I chose to make a change.  Rather than complain and complain and complain about "being fat", I changed my mindset.  I wrote two quotes on my wall, wrote a weight loss goal, and loss of inches goal.  They are posted on my bathroom mirror.  A good friend was having success with this online program so I decided to give it a shot (by the way, I cancelled my Weight Watchers membership after the first week of trying this program).  I downloaded the app on my phone, I joined Curves, and I set goals for myself.  

The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.
Carl Sandburg

 
I started working out, eating healthy, and waited for the first weigh-in day.  I wasn't sure what to expect since, in six months time, I hadn't lost anything with Weight Watchers.  I had given up hope of losing weight, my frustration was growing, and frankly, so was the size of my arse.

Three weeks later...

I have said goodbye to four pounds!   This may not seem like much but I'm choosing to celebrate it!

There is nothing permanent except change. 

Heraclitus

 
I had forgotten how good it feels to be successful with weight loss.  To know that the choices have positive consequences.  And to feel good in my clothes.

The quotes will remain on my mirror, as with updated numbers and goals. 
I will succeed.

It feels too good to believe anything else.

Book Club

  I love to read.

I don't remember a time when I didn't have a book (or two) sitting on my nightstand, waiting for me to delve into the chapters.  I enjoy just about every genre...can't seem to get into science fiction, though.  I love to stumble upon a book based on someone elses recommendation, too.  This year, I've been reading books for work and while The Bully, The Bullied and The Bystander is an excellent book for professional reasons, I found myself needed to fulfill a personal interest in reading.

So, I started a book club. 

Over the years, I've participated in several book clubs.  I love to discuss a book, even if I didn't enjoy it. Once I find a good book, I love to tell everyone I know about it.  For example, Water for Elephants is a must read.  Have you read it?  YOU SHOULD.  Top 5 book.  Wrinkle in Time?  Same thing.  The Red Tent?  Same thing.  Each of those books are different (yet, similar if you look for it) and I love to re-read them every summer. 

Ok, back to my point.

Following my impulse to start a book club, I put out invitations on Facebook to friends and family, not knowing who would say yes.  Eric laughed and asked if I was ready for my worlds to collide, since I was inviting friends from different chapters in my life that I was connected with by Facebook.  Social Networking.  An amazing tool.  Anywhoooo...I said yes and hit the send button.  Little did I know how right he was about my worlds colliding...

Last night, I found myself observing the room as everyone was laughing and chatting.  There was someone from nearly every chapter in my life, surrounding me.  A best friend from high school days.  Sorority sisters.  A non-sorority sister who may or may not have had a key to our house and basically lived there for three years.  Friends who have only known me as Eric's wife.  It doesn't come as surprise to me that they all blend well together.  I mean, I chose them as my friends.  So, they clearly have common traits and values or else they wouldn't be in my life, right?  Not for one minute am I saying that I am the center of this group because I AM NOT.  I simply love how this group has evolved and will continue to evolve as others join us (since I keep inviting everyone from the original email) when the time is right for them. 

This last month, we read The Help by Kathryn Stockett.   Have you read it?  YOU SHOULD.  Top 5 book.  Nearly everyone read it this month and the discussion was awesome.  I love sitting with intelligent women, a glass of wine in hand, and breaking down a book.  Now, that may make me sound weird but it's the truth. I totally groove on it.  Let's break down the book, find out who enjoyed what facet of each character, who discovered a "a-ha" moment within the book, or who maybe didn't enjoy the book and why.  Not to mention, the side conversations filled with laughter as we re-connect each month and share stories of our daily lives are incredibly fun, as well.  Not everyone reads the book each month and that's ok.  By the end of the evening, someone ends up suggesting a book for the next month, someone offers to host, we select a date, and I can almost guarantee that every one of us looks forward to the next meeting.  For many in the group, book club is the perfect excuse to escape our busy lives for a few hours and let loose.

Next month, we are reading Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford.  I have already read it.  I won't reveal, just yet, if I think it is a top fiver or not.  But if you've read it, let me know what you think.
I'd love to grab a glass of wine and tell you my thoughts, too.

An Update - with bullet points

• Going full steam ahead at work, since returning from vacation.  And I'm exhausted.
• We ended up at the Olive Garden for our anniversary, where I made a scene when they gave us crappy seats, Eric offered to be a guinea pig for their gluten-free dish, they paid for Eric's terrible-tasting gluten-free dish, and I got sloshed on delicious red wine.  Happy 14 years to us!
• Rachel's Challenge has come and gone from my school and it was a smashing success.
• Check this out if you want to see the clip from the local news station.
• I discovered that I can manage daily life with a cold but a fever can make me stop everything and climb into bed.  And feel no guilt. 
• My dad is doing better and better every day.  The other day, he told me how he was watching Garth Brooks on Oprah and how much he enjoyed watching a man, so filled with humility and grace, bring his gift of song to others.  Dad, you bring a similar gift to those around you.  Just sayin'.
• I quit Weight Watchers and use myfitnesspal app on my phone now. 
• I've lost 3 lbs in two weeks which is more than I lost with WW in six months!
• I love daylight savings.  I hate losing the extra hour of sleep but I LOVE the longer days.
• The school year is officially two-thirds complete. 

Have a great rest of your weekend! 

3-07-97

Fourteen years ago, we invited a whole lotta people to a wedding.

An evening to hang out with loved ones, watch us exchange our vows, eat some food, and dance.

Oh, and drink wine.  Or beer.  Or more wine.

It was a Friday night.  It was cold, rainy, and I think someone reported sleet in the skies.

Unfortunately, there were friends and family who couldn't make it due to the weather. 

But there were about 350 who did make it.

It was one hell of a party.

Man.  We were YOUNG. 

At the time, we barely had enough money to scrape together a mortgage.  Oh, the irony. 

Marriage isn't always easy.  In fact, it takes work.  And some days, working hard is more than either of us want to do.  We've had our trials and issues.  We've had our moments of good and bad.  The darkest days were the three and half years of infertility.  And the brightest days have been lit by the smile on our son's face.

Through it all, we have laughed, cried, yelled, and figured it out together.  But not once, have either of us thought of giving up.  Never once has either of us thought of walking away.  If anything, we've learned to forgive faster and love harder.

  I'm so blessed to be married to my best friend.  The man makes me a better person than I ever knew possible.  He makes me laugh.  He makes me face reality.  He's honest and loyal.  And he's the best father I could have asked for my child.  Life is good.  So good. 

So, if you were one of the 350 who attended our wedding, thanks for joining us in the celebration.

The party is still going.
And it's awesome.

Update on The Dad

Even though Dad is battling a nasty bout of hives (reaction to a new medication) these days, he is doing VERY well.  He is resting, he is reading his mail, he is napping (A LOT), and slowly finding his energy again.  A huge thanks to everyone who has called or left positive comments for me in the past week.  Your words help.  Believe me.

After I wrote my last post, Alexander and I (Eric was home sick) finally saw Dad in person.  And I spent the first 15 minutes of our visit, curled in Dad's lap.  Sobbing.  Then, we just hung out.  Dad said to me, "today is your Wed and Thursday of last week when everyone else was worried.  Just let it be".  So, I did just that.  Alexander and I visited again on Monday night (I probably cried again) but gave them a break from us on Tuesday.

I'm feeling a bit more grounded in my thoughts about everything.  I've processed.  I've cried.  And I'm ok.  We're all ok.

Except for this blasted head cold!!   Alexander had it before we went on vacation so he's doing fine.  Eric and I are a different story.  Both of us have head colds, complete with sneezing, congestion and the start of chest coughs.  Dumb airplane air.

I don't have time to get sick, people!  I can't afford to fall behind at work.  Please send positive vibes that I can make it through the week and tag-team with Eric for rest over the weekend.  We both need a low-key weekend at home.  And that's just what we have planned.

Enjoy the rest of your week!