Wanna know a secret?

Day 2: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.

1.  My deepest fear is Alexander will be abducted.  Ok, maybe my deepest fear is he will drown.  Ok, maybe my deepest fear is Alexander and Eric will die in a car crash.  Together.  Yep, that's my deepest fear.  Losing my boys.  I guess it really doesn't matter how it would happen.  I simply fear they will die and I will be alone.

2.  I'm innately shy.  I've learned how to adapt and cover the shyness in most situations.  But when it comes down to it, I am shy.  Most would disagree, based on my outgoing personality but those who know me best, know this to be true.
 
3.  I don't take on challenges if I believe I am going to fail.  Rather ironic for a person who loves working with student-leaders in situations where I encourage them fail so they can learn from the experience.  But failure is a weakness to me.  So, I'll stay up all night, working on a project, and push kids to their limits to keep them from failing.  But if you tried doing that me, I'd push you right back.  I just won't go into the situation if I won't be successful.
 
4.  I plan my funeral and memorial service in my head, all the time.  I hear a song and think, "that would be great at my funeral".  I think about reserving the high school gym for the service and wonder how many people would arrive.  I often write eulogies for myself, as well.  It's weird.  It's twisted.  Yet, I have a serious kick-ass party planned in my head for when I go. 
 
5.  I cannot and do not tolerate incompetence.  If you can't do the job, find one you can do and get out of my way.
 
6.  I'm a homebody who doesn't like to miss a party.  Ironic for someone who is shy, right?  I am ok with missing events but when it comes to a party, I HATE to miss out.  Case in point:  my high school friends had the second annual golf tournament this summer (first one was for our high school reunion).  I was at leadership camp.  And it still bugs me, four month later, that I missed out. 
 

7.   I step on the scale every morning.  And let the number decide my frame of mind.  Every day.

 

8.  I count Christmas presents. Just like my mom. I make sure everyone we give to, has the same amount of presents as everyone else.  I used to make fun of my mom for doing it.  Until the moment I realized I was unconsciously making sure everyone had the same number of gifts from us.  I can't explain it.  I just do it.

 

9.  I love my birthday.  Oh wait.  Most people who know me, know that about me.  (How's that for a subtle reminder that my birthday 10 days away?!  I warned you - I love my birthday.)