Tallying Royalty votes (a boy named Fred won, by the way).
Last night, I was a mess. Crying like a fool. Feeling weak. I don't do weak very well, by the way. Last night, it all kicked me in the ass. Again. And I was useless to anyone.
Today, I woke up and went to work.
I supervised an assembly rehearsal. I wrote a bunch of emails. I even supervised two evening events. Truthfully, my heart wasn't into it. I suppose, as long as the kids don't know, it is ok that I don't care.
When will my heart care again?
When will I stop cyring all the time?
When will I stop having moments that I can't control, when I fall to my knees because the pain I feel when I think about my dad's death is unbearable?
When will I stop feeling weak?
Right now, I can't imagine anything but this pain.