Saturday, January 5, 2013

no more book reviews for me

The last book review I did was a few months ago.
Clearly, I don't have the discipline to continue with the activity.  If I'm going to be serious about being disciplined, it needs to be in all areas.  So, I'm saying goodbye to the book reviews.
I won't stop reading (can you say Harry Potter series?).  I'm just gonna stop writing about it.

This weekend is pretty wide open, with only a few things on the agenda...
Going to embark on a little fitness adventure with this gal, whose bound and determined to be healthy this year too. 
Going to spend a little time prepping for Alexander's 6th birthday.
  The theme:  LEGO party (done dirt cheap).
  Eric and I are going to tackle a few stores and see what sales we can find. I've pinterested a few ideas so we're going to see what magical surprises we can create.
Going to take my little man on a Mommy/Son date to the high school to watch the big boys play basketball. 
I have high hopes watching a game will help improve his skills.
Since he is the shortest on his team, he's gonna need all the help he can get!
Tomorrow, we're all about cheering on our Seattle Seahawks!
Have a great weekend!

Friday, January 4, 2013

back to work....

...and  I don't want anyone to see me.     Which actually means I'm moving forward with my grief.  Hold tight; I'll try to explain what I mean.

I don't mind being back to work after a two week break.  I enjoy talking with my students as they tell me their stories from the holiday break.   Yesterday, I actually laughed out loud for several minutes.  Loudly.  And it felt wonderful.

What I realized today is I am doing o,k but I don't like people asking how I'm doing.  That may sound strange but if you know me, you know that it actually means I'm healing.  I have never been one to share my personal life with my work life.    I don't like the attention on me and I certainly don't want to discuss my feelings. 

I rarely blur the lines between home and work.  Rarely.

However, I didn't have much of a choice about the lines blurring when Dad died because

 1. my mom used to work at the high school where I currently work so everyone asks how she is doing

 2.  my dad announced football games where I currently work so the community asks how we are doing

 3.  I went to high school where I currently work so everyone asks how I am doing and

 4.  I have really good friends where I currently work who ask how I'm doing.
 I really love long sentences.

I know I'm coming out of the grief fog because I'm noticing, when people ask, I hate it.   This was very "before Dad died" behavior for me.  What looks like concern to others feels like pity to me. I'm not saying I don't appreciate the support.  I'm just over needing it. 

It's weird.  I know.  Just go with it. 

I am.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

words to live by

 I chose a word to live by for 2012.  I chose it on New Years Eve and you can read about it here.  Little did I know what 2012 would have in store for me.
I am choosing a word to "live by" for 2013.  A word to drive my actions. 

I choose
More specifically, I want to be more disciplined in my health and my finances. 
With discipline, there will be self control.
I plan to use Weight Watchers for the entire year, not just during the summer months.  My body feels so much better when I am putting healthy food into my body.  Finding time to exercise will always be a battle because I don't have money for a gym membership or a lot of free time. 
With discpline, there will be willpower.
Eric and I have allowances.  I spend nearly every dime I have on clothing.  And then, every six months I drag 4 giant bags of clothes to the goodwill.  Today I put my credit card in the drawer and won't touch it until I go to Vegas for Spring Break. 
With discipline, there will be
What word would you choose to live by in 2013?