This H1N1 vaccination is a whole different ball game. I spent most of the fall, trying to schedule an appointment for Alexander. I finally schedule one for November 24 and don't think about it again. The day arrives, we have to leave at 1:15 and..I FREAK OUT. I know I should have had my thoughts clear about this weeks before our appointment. I guess I thought I did. I need to protect my child and this vaccination is supposed to do just that.
But when the moment came to leave the house, I freak out. No joke. Exorcist-head spinning-FREAKED OUT. I'm crying. I'm babbling insecurities about not being a good enough mom to my son. I'm frantically searching the internet for any type of information that will put my mind at ease. I am yelling at Eric to make the decision for me. I start text messaging friends who have three year olds for advice. I even text message a high school friend who is a OB/GYN in California to ask his advice (Michael is a saint for patiently dealing with my neurosis issues over the past 20 years!). Keep in mind, this is all being done so I can sabotage the appt by leaving late and have the decision made for me. Turns out the doctor office has a 15 minute grace period. Who knew?
My logical husband isn't much help because he thinks Alexander will be fine either way because he is a very healthy little boy. But he lovingly supports whatever decision I make - which is the problem! I can't make a freaking decision! I have a nasty habit of thinking "what ifs" and freak myself out even more. I feel I have no control over this issue and that freaks me out even more. There is no guarantee. Of course, there are no guarantees in life. But a parenting manual sure would be nice.
In the end, Alexander had the shot. BUT he is not getting the booster shot in 30 days.
Of that, I am sure.
Damn H1N1. I think I hate you.