Sunday, March 7, 2010

Then and Now

In 1992, I was hired to work at a hardware store.  The day after they hired me, the company filed for bankruptcy and a security guard was hired to oversee all the sales.  Eric was the security guard and boy, was he cute!  Within a few weeks, he asked me out.  I figured, "why not? This could be a fun summer fling".  And I've never regretted saying yes.  That night cemented what I would learn about Eric over the next several years.  He was kind, considerate, really funny, and very confident.  I was reminded throughout the night of Lloyd Dobbler from Say Anything, when he takes the girl to the party and just keeps an eye on her from afar to make sure she's having a good time.  That was us.  He let me be social, kept my keg cup filled (oh, the days of kegs!), and would check in to make sure I was enjoying myself.  I supposed it helped that he was a good kisser, too.  Needless to say, the next day, I called my auntie and told her I had met the man I would marry.


Fast forward five years and on March 7, 1997, and Eric and I began this road called marriage.  We took an indirect route to the altar.  There was the summer of love.  There was a break up.  There were broken hearts.  There was the hesitant restart of our friendship that led to dating once again.  We drove 30 minutes to see each other on the weekends and would then drive further distances for day hikes, camping trips, and many date nights.  We never lived together.  And then...I can remember the moment and realization that I just wanted to marry this man.   But we would wait.   Eric wanted us to have a house.  He wanted me to clear my debt (bad me) and be clear about financial responsibility. He wanted me to be sure of who I was and that he really was the right choice for me.  Never a doubt in my mind, honey.  Never.

For the first ten years, it was just the two of us. We traveled.  A lot.  We bought, fully remodeled, and sold our first home.  We had two incomes and enjoyed date nights every Friday night.  Talk about the easy life!

Italy, 2001

And then infertility hit and the dark days began.  At that point, I knew Eric was my foundation.  I took everything out on him and he still put up with me.  When Alexander arrived, our marriage recreated itself with this wonderful addition!  Now, you've got this third party completely dependent upon you and you've got to figure it all out.  Together. 

For the most part, it has been seamless.  However, there are days when it isn't easy.  I am a control freak.  I'm a neat freak.  Leaving my boys at home every day and letting someone else parent my child, even his father, is not easy for me.  Coming home to a house that is littered with toys and stuff is not easy for me. Yet, Eric is an amazing father with infinite levels of patience.  He is the better parent to be home and that isn't easy for me to admit.  Just watching him during potty training is enough to convince me that him being home is the best decision.  For all of us.

Right now, we're in a very good place.  Communication is flowing better.  We're laughing more than ever.  We've learned the balance of time for ourselves, time for Alexander, and time for our family.  I'm learning that the titles of Mom and Wife are better than the title of Ms. M.  And I'm sure he's learning things too but this is my blog so we'll only talk about my learning curve.

Since our wedding day and the awesome party we celebrated on that night, I've never been happier.  I married the man who brings out the best in me.  I remember a time when I said he made me who I am and my friend Ann argued with me.  She said that I always had confidence and inner-strength in me but it took Eric's confidence for me to believe in myself.  I think she is right.  I just can't imagine my life without this man.

He truly is my best friend.
Then and Now.

5 comments:

  1. So cute. Hope you are enjoying your anniversary! Thinking of you two!
    xoxo

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  2. How cute are ya'll! AND, I love your blonde blonde hair in the "now" :)

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  3. Ohh ... and the girl scout ice cream, what what!! haha

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  4. there is not better way of saying that he finishes you (just can't say he completes you after the movie, doesn't work for me). There is no marriage that is perfect. THere are good times and bad times and times that you are so far in despair you don't think you will survive, but HE holds you. He helps you to be you. And in the same vein, he needs you and you do the same for him. It continues to amaze me how well you are able to put your thoughts into words.
    Happy Anniversary! May your next 13 years be even more enjoyable!

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