Halloween? No Thank You.

I can remember the last time I went trick or treating.  I was six.  At seven, I had the chicken pox, wasn't allowed to go out, and I never went out again.  I don't like chocolate so the candy was never appealing.  I don't like being cold so freezing in the dark never appealed to me.  And masks freak me out. 

Halloween?  No Thank You.

However, now that I have a child, I have to go trick or treating.  I still don't like it.  But I like my kid. 

In the meantime, while I countdown the minutes to the dreaded sunset, I have full day planned.

• Dust and vaccuum
• Loads of laundry
• Clear out all the election flyers that have been cluttering up my house and clogging my mailbox (does anyone else DESPISE the damn things?)
• Write six letters of recommendations
• The Wire and Football with hubby

I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. ~Author Unknown

Happy Halloween!

Have you missed me?

I've had the stomach flu.  There really is nothing worse than the flu. 

I'd take childbirth over the flu.

Any day. 

This is actually me passed out after a night of drinking.  However, it is a fair representative of how I have felt the past few days.

I needed to be at work on Wednesday (one of those no-choice-had-to-be-there day) and wouldn't you know it?  The flu hit about midnight Tuesday night.  And it was BAD.  Violent.  Nasty.  All sorts of nastiness of which I shall spare you. 

But at 5AM, I pulled it together to shower and dress.  Remember, I HAD to go to work.  Even Eric agreed that I had to go and this is coming from the guy who looked for any excuse to miss work.  Granted, I didn't put make up on, I wore sweats, I didn't put my contacts in AND I sat on the floor to blowdry and straighten my hair.  All of that took TWO HOURS.  Yep, I was a mess.

I drove into school and walked into the main office.  I'm not sure who was even sitting in the office but they took one look at me and told me to go home.  Immediately.  To which I immediately burst into tears and told them I had to be there.  To which they responded with a message that shall not be repeated but definitely got the message across.  So, back home and back to bed I went.

Thankfully, I'm feeling better.  Sprite and mashed potatos are helping me survive (and put on the 5 lbs I lost).

I still feel guilty about missing Wednesday.  Not sure there is any food to help me get over that guilt.

  But I tried.  I really, really tried.

Sunday Morning Thoughts

I remember the days pre-Alexander.  Eric would sleep in until after noon and I would be up early.  I'd clean the house, do the laundry, drink loads of coffee, and watch all my TV shows taped from the week.  Yes, I said taped.  You can laugh.  We had a VCR for years.  Can you believe we STILL don't have a DVR.  That frustration is for another day's post.  Anyhow, the days before we had our son were a bit slower, a bit quieter, and a way less interesting as they are now.  I truly wouldn't trade having my son for a minute of that quiet time.

That being said, having that quiet time return once in a while is a blessing.  It's good for Eric and I to spend time together.  With this busy job of mine, I don't spend near enough quality time with my husband.  And I miss him.  He is a solid, strong man who accepts me for who I am and wants me to be happy in my new job.  And he is happier at home with Alexander than he ever was working at Boeing. 

Finding time for one another is the hardest part of life after Alexander.  Yet, there will come a time when life after Alexander is life with Eric.  The time will come when I am retired (14 years from now), Alexander will be in college, and Eric and I will play together, every day.  We were lucky to have 10 years to play before our son arrived and God willing, we will have plenty of time together when Alexander is out on his own.

For now, Eric is sleeping in.  I'm watching the Hurt Locker (not very good movie, I might add), and thinking about showering and going shopping. 

It's a good Sunday morning.



Under the Weather

I am staring outside the window and the rain is pouring down.  Invictus is on the TV. Alexander is enjoying a sleep over at his grandparents.  Eric is on the computer upstairs.  And I'm curled under a blanket, updating pictures and blogs, feeling a bit under the weather.

I woke up feeling fine.  I played with Alexander, drank my coffee, showered, and headed to the store to buy oranges for halftime at the soccer game.  However, by the time I pulled into the driveway, I was sure I was going to puke.  Eric even commented on how pale I looked and it takes a lot for him to notice when I don't feel well.  By noon, I was in bed.  I didn't even make it to Alexander's soccer game and I'm the assistant coach.  I feel terrible for missing it.  Apparently, he didn't want to play so I didn't miss much.

After a nap and drinking a lot of water, I think I'm going to make it.  I suspect I was deyhydrated.  Again.  Or maybe it has to do with the thyroid not working (it has to do with the digestive system not working well...I won't go into any details).  Or maybe I caught a bug.  At least I'm feeling a bit better and hopefully, I'll make it to Grandma Great's tomorrow with Mr. Orange in tow.

Time to watch Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon now.  I have a feeling I'm going to like it.

A New Path or Not?

Whenever someone asks me if I want to become an administrator, I immediately answer no.

Today, someone changed tactics on me.  Rather than accept my pat answer of "I want to keep ASB and work with the kids because that is my main intent with this job", he said to me, "why not get the degree as a back up plan for 5-10 years down the road?"

The question made me stop and think. 

Could I be a principal?

I've never invisioned myself as an administrator.  Can I do the job?    Could our family handle the extra supervision commitments?  What will I do if I burned out on ASB before my plan of retirement in 15 years?  Would Eric and Alexander support the career change?   In my current position, there are so many hours outside of the work day that are required by the job and the energy level is at a constant high.  Statistically, I'll burn out.  Would I really want to go back to PE after doing what I'm doing?  I simply don't know if teaching PE would hold enough of a challenge for me.

So, after some thought and a discussion with Eric, I did what any good person does - I hit the Internet.  I googled "principal pay scale".  I researched master and doctorate programs.   I made a list of what administrators do that I can't do.  BTW, I came up with one thing - evaluate staff.  And I could totally do that piece.

As it turns out...they make a lot more than I do.  A LOT MORE. 

I could start a program to get my credentials next year.  I could spend two years working on it at a snail's pace and earn my degree.  At that point, I could either 1) stay where I am or 2) look for a job as an administrator.  Alexander would be full time at school and Eric could stay home longer during Alexander's school days.

I'm not going to lie. It's tempting.  I like being a student so the school part would be great.  However, I don't want to work anywhere else.  And I don't know that I will burn out on ASB.  And I don't know that I want to be an administrator.  And I don't know that I'm ok with always being the working parent with the agreement that Eric should be home all the time.  Let me be clear, he's a great stay at home Dad.  But what happens if I want my turn at home?

Having a safety net is never a bad idea, though. 

Am I ready for a new path?  Am I ready to start school again and go through all that time of being a student, while working full time? 

I just don't know.

It's mighty interesting thinking about the possibilities, though.  Mighty interesting.

I miss PhotoShop

When my laptop crashed, I took it into the school to be fixed. 
The computer tech person replaced most programs - except Photoshop.

The reason I had Photoshop in the first place was because of a technology program I signed up for in 2005.  I didn't renew the class so I have lost Photoshop privileges and my tech couldn't replace it when she fixed my computer.  Note to self:  renew classes when you have the chance, even if you don't think you have the time!

I hadn't realized how much I loved Photoshop until I started taking pictures for the blog in the past few weeks.  Let's be honest - I just haven't had a whole lot of time to take pictures since school started in August.  Now that things have slowed down at work (and I'm getting emails telling me to update the Alexander's blog), I started taking pictures again. 

And I miss my Photoshop.

I miss being able to crop.  I miss being able to adjust lighting.  I miss being able to fix red eye. 

Hopefully, Santa will check my Amazon wish list and note that I want Photoshop under the tree.

I swear I've been a good girl, Santa!

Weekend Adventure for Mommy and Her Little Man

This weekend, Alexander and I are headed out of town!  My leadership camp group is meeting in Eastern Washington for our yearly fall planning meeting.  It happens to conicide on the same weekend that the high school volleyball team is playing in a tournament.  So, my little man and I are headed over the mountains to cheer on "Mommy's students" and to visit with "Mommy's friends".  I am not exactly sure how much volleyball we will watch due to a toddler's short attention span.  And I'm not really sure how either of us are going to manage without naps.  However, we're packing our bags and heading out. 

Sometimes, the best trips are those in which you have very little details planned.

WHOA!  Did I just say that?? 

I want to add that this is the first time that I will have someone watching him, who isn't family, for an extended period of time.  During the meeting on Sunday, there will be two high school students looking after all the kiddos.  Alexander will be the youngest of the group and I think he'll be ok.  Actually, I know he will be ok because 1) I have known the two girls since before I was pregnant and they will never let anything happen to my child and 2) he will love playing with the older kids. 

In the meantime, here is a picture of Alexander and I cuddling after his late nap yesterday. 

Man, those are some serious dark circles under my eyes! 

Since the kid never, ever cuddles I couldn't help but ask for a photo. 

Have a great weekend! 

 

The Learning Curve

I woke up with a headache.  Well, I'm not sure I woke up with it but by the time I finished showering and putting myself together for work, I felt the inkling of a headache.  By 7:30, I couldn't adjust my contacts correctly, which intensified the headache.  So, I wasn't feeling very well and thought today would be a day where I simply went through the motions.

The kids had a different idea.

Part of my job is to handle discipline issues.  Up to this point, I hadn't addressed a discipline referral all year.  It isn't as though they haven't crossed my desk. And it isn't as though I was avoiding them.  It's that my amazing team took the brunt of the issues because 1) I was greener than green when it came to dealing with discipline issues and 2) it was Homecoming.  I sat in on a couple of conferences but never took the lead.

By 1PM today, I had addressed five discipline issues.  The learning curve was steep.  At times, I was worried that I wouldn't know what to say or say the wrong thing.  But the issues were pretty clear, the consequences were clear, and I found myself working with the kids like I had when I was their teacher and they made bad choices in my gym.

And you know what I learned?  I'm good at this administrative thing.  I'm good at finding out why kids do what they do.  I'm good at digging to the root of an issue.  And I'm good at helping kids realize a better solution than the path they originally chose.

It's just a matter of giving consequences for choices and I've been doing that in my classroom for YEARS.  Granted, some of the issues are bigger than anything I've dealt with before and I needed to learn the correct language to use.  That's where my great team stepped in and helped me figure out what to do.  And there will be times when I won't know what to do or say but I'm learning that's ok too.  I'll get it.

The day flew by and the headache never went away but I learned a lot today.

It's been a long time since I've learned something new at work.

I liked it.

Sweet Bella

If you are a blogger, you probably follow blog to blog to blog, following stories that capture your interest.  Or your heart.

In the past few months, I have followed two little boys, named Daylon and Jonah, both of whom have EB.

And then I found Bella.  Bella, a sweet sixteen month old, was in the midst of a experimental transplant to replace her sick cells with healthy ones from her sister.  There have been endless complications yet the little girl fought every day to live.

Today, Bella died.

Tonight, she is singing and dancing with angels in a body untouched by blisters and scars, unstrapped from medical devices, emptied of steroids and medications.

She is healed.

Please pray for her family as you hug yours close to you.

Sunday...Monday...It's All a Blur

On the drive home from the Homecoming dance Saturday night, all I could think about was my bed.  My awesomely comfortable, warm bed that would provide rest and comfort to my weary soul.  By the time my mind stopped thinking of all the details from Saturday night, it was close to 1AM and my body and mind was exhausted. 

I have spent the past two days in a recovery fog, laying on the couch, in my pajamas.

If it was up to me, I wouldn't have done a thing on Sunday.  However, I had to meet my ASB kiddos on Sunday to clean up Homecoming dance decorations.  I asked Alexander if he wanted to go with me and his response was a resounding "YES" as he ran off to his room to dress himself.  His energy was infectious as he bossed kids around directed everyone in clean up jobs.  He decided his job would be to pop all 700 balloons with his big boy scissors and the kids were great about making sure he didn't stab himself.  Once that job was complete, he ran around the hallways with several students so I could freely oversee the rest of the clean up.  After an hour an a half, the school was transformed to a state of cleanliness and we all headed home to continue our recovery.

The next 24 hours were a blur, filled with sleep and mindless TV shows.  I took a 2 hour nap on Sunday when we returned from school.  I was in bed by 9 Sunday night.  I woke up this morning at 9.  I took a two hour nap at noon and when I awoke, I finally felt the fog had lifted.  I even took a shower and made it to Alexander's soccer practice.  I think I'm almost ready to face work tomorrow, too.

Homecoming week is a lot like Leadership camp week.  Long days on little sleep.

In 365 days, I'll willingly do it all again.

Homecoming

40 hard working ASB kids + 15 hour work week days + Homecoming themes + dress up days + lunchtime activities + buckets of paint + butcher paper + blue tape + glue and glitter + school assemblies + school unity + royalty + buff puff + powder puff + small town parade + a dominant football game + halftime show + king and queen + strings of light + yards of gossamer + even more yards of tulle + 700 balloons + DJ + songs playlists + girls wearing fancy dresses and high heels + boys wearing tuxes

=

The Best Week of The Year

October Goals

Alrighty folks, time for a little goal setting.  Rachel and Jen are doing it so I'm doing it, too (cause I wanna be like the cool kids!).  For a number of reasons, I like the idea of setting goals.  First, I love to make lists.  Second, I like to cross items off a list and show productivity.  Third, setting goals will help me find the balance that I need as I work towards setting my priorities straight.

That being said, what are my goals for October?

1. Settle into a routine and solid pace at work.  Once Homecoming ends (this week!), I won't have as many plates to balance and the pace should slow down.  I have to remember the school year is a marathon, not a sprint to the finish line.  Right now, it feels like I'm interval training!
2. I'd like to delve into the administrative pieces of my job.  Having a better understanding will help me be a stronger member of the team.
3. I will not log on to the computer on any date night with Eric for the entire month.  We often sit and watch movies and I have never been able to sit still through a movie (possible adult onset of ADHD?)for years.  So, I find myself logging on to the computer and surfing, rather than focusing on hanging out with Eric.  It is a bad habit that I want to break. 
4. I have given up on running in the morning before work.  So, my goal is to meet the girls from work, before school, twice a week to lift weights and hang out.  Meeting this goal will not only make me feel better about working out but appeal to the social side of me, as well.
5. Think before I commit to anything so I don't bail out on anyone.  Ask myself questions like:  Is the timing right?  How will I feel, based on my schedule, when that day comes around?  How will my boys be affected if I commit myself to this event?  Is there another time that this event could work better for me and my family? 

So, making that list wasn't so hard.  Hopefully, accomplishing a few of the goals will be as easy as creating the list

Have you thought about what you want to accomplish?  I challenge you to set October goals for yourself TODAY!

T-minus

I turn 39 tomorrow. 

I LOVE my birthday. 

 I love it so much that I drag it out my princess status for the full 24 hours that is October 4. 

But 39?  Yuck.  I struggled with turning 29, too. 

I wonder if I'll hate turning 49.

OMG.  49. 

39 doesn't sound so bad, after all.

Confession

Day 10: One confession.

 

I can't do it all. 

 

It's time to be honest about it or else, I'm going to continue hurting people I love.